These last few days have been full of ups and downs. Little ones, not big ones. But no matter the scope, my emotions have run high and my heart hurts a little from someone else’s actions. Oddly enough, not someone that I am even that close to.
It is truly amazing to me what one human can do to another, not really even knowing they’ve done it. I am certain that is the case here. But it was still done and I still feel it. I feel it a lot.
I am a feeling person, always have been. I try not to wear my heart out in the open but I know I do it anyway. It is a big part of who I am so I cannot deny it, even if I try…
This weekend at B’s soccer tournament they won only 1 out of 4 games and even though they still got a lovely token for their efforts, he and his teammates felt pretty defeated. Last year they won, so that made it extra hard.
I felt the same way this weekend… like last year I won but this year, not so much. Somehow I did not play well enough and ended up losing. And I hate that feeling.
Lately K has been showing her emotions with a lot of crying, especially if she does not get her way. The other day I felt like crying with her. See, I didn’t get my way with something either. Someone else was in control and I had to succumb to these emotions, so raw and real.
I want to put it behind me now, but it’s hard.
I want to be the same fun-loving, happy person I know myself to be.
And I will, it just may take a little time.
I wish there was a switch I could flip or that I had one of those magic memory erasing things like they have in some Sci-Fi movies. Just to take this one little thing out of my brain -to clear it and free myself from this.
Forever.
A couple of photos that do make me smile…
