My Crazy Awesome Kids

One morning recently I took a quick walk through my neighborhood as my exercise for that day.  It was great weather and other people were out and about as well.  On one of the blocks I saw my neighbor friend’s two boys riding their scooters.  As I passed them I said, “Hey guys” and one of them slightly smiled at me.  They are known to be pretty quiet kids, at least around me.  I passed on and thought nothing of it and finished my walk.

I took the same route again a few mornings later and although I did not see them, I thought of them.  I pondered how every time I’ve been around them they have been really well behaved.  My kids have played with them and had fun but they just have different personalities than my children. I thought about how they are home-schooled and have had a different experience than my boys in that regard (not bad, just different).  I thought of their parents and how I know that their father is also kind of a quiet guy and that their mother is smart and assertive, and although not shy, somewhat mild mannered.

Then I started comparing my own kids in my head.  My boisterous, video-game playing, loud and ruckus kids.  I contemplated the fact that no one would ever call them quiet and if any of my kids saw another mother they knew, walking by, they might act shy at first but then would probably stop her to tell them all about their day or their newest toy.

Sometimes I think I need to temper my kids more, make them “stay in line”, especially if they are around children like my friends’.  I think I also feel this way if my children are around friends like my friend.  See, I don’t want other parents to think that my kids are out of control since that is a reflection on me, the parent.  I am pretty sure I don’t want them to think my kids are out of control because what I really want them to think is that my parenting and life are IN complete control.

(why is that?)

However, on my walk that morning I made a realization: I need to let my children BE who they are and to stop caring what other people think.  I should not squash their ways (unless of course they are harming someone and/or need to be disciplined, that is a different story).  I should let them express themselves.  So what if they are louder than someone else’s kids?  Who cares if they cannot sit very still or if they sing too loud or cartwheel their way over to you?

Are they going to be the quietest, most well-behaved kids on the block?  Some days (maybe) but my guess is no.  Are they going to live life out loud and with exuberance and expression?  Heck yeah, they are!  And truthfully I wouldn’t want it any other way.  Are they going to be different than some other kids, OH YES, thank goodness.

Sure, there are certain times when I would like them to be more like my friends’ kids, perhaps during doctor office visits and in church.  But in general, comparing them to other kids is only doing them (and myself) a disservice.

This is a conclusion I have ultimately come to:  Our family of five has a different personality than another family of five on this planet.  We are made up of five different but similar brains and hearts.  We feed off of each other and our certain ways.  I myself am not that quiet of a person.  I am an extrovert and have a lust for life.  Sometimes I let my emotions get the better of me.  I am a product of my own family.  Things were similar when I was growing up.

So, I’ve decided to stop this comparison game and to change my thinking.  We are who we are.  And again, as long as it isn’t to the detriment of  anyone else, I’m going to let my kids be who they are going to be.  They may never won’t be the the calmest kids but they are MY kids and I love them for everything they ARE, not what they aren’t.