Listen Up!

We’ve had so many little tiffs over the fact that he does not listen.  I’ve had to say things multiples and multiples of times and then say them extra LOUDLY before he would hear me or even attempt to.  Then there is usually crying and frustrated faces and harsh words and a few minutes that turned into something they did not have to.

If only he would listen.

The other night I was upset with him yet again.  Because he did not listen.

I don’t even know what it was that I was trying to get him to hear.  I was probably tired of hearing myself say it.  I was also exhausted by my overstated request.  And the day in general.

Brush your teeth.  Pick up your shoes.  Take that to your room.  Put your plate in the sink.  Don’t use the sofa as a sidewalk.

In my head I think, “If I’m hoarse by the end of the day, kid, it’s because of you.”

You’ve heard this story before.  You may have even lived it.  Some kids are not the best listeners (and neither are some adults).

But here’s the rest of the story…

 

“Mom.”

silence.

“Mom…”

“Mom!”

“Hold on…”

“MOM!!”

“What?”

“I, blah, blah, blah….”

mom, sitting at her laptop or on her phone… not paying attention.  NOT listening… 

“Mom, I just said something to you and you did not listen.  You always get mad at me for not listening so now I am a little mad at you because you did not hear what I just said, did you?”

Guilty.  SO BLEEPIN’ GUILTY.

If only I would listen. 

If I don’t do a decent job of listening to him, how in the world do I expect him to listen to me?  Is it all my fault that the kid rarely hears what I say? No, but it’s probably somewhat my fault.  You would think after almost 11 years of parenting and telling kids to do stuff I would listen to my own self right? Heh. Right.

So while, this does not happen every time, it happens too much.  And when your own 7-year old calls you out for not listening – you know, the same one you’ve gotten upset with MANY times for not listening to you…? Well, that’s pretty much a punch in the gut.  I mean OUCH.

And then to realize – REALLY realize – you’ve been doing this thing to your kid that you’ve been pestering him for SO long NOT to do.  It’s a friggin’ no-brainer.  I’ve basically been teaching my kid to do that thing that I’ve told him a million times to stop doing – and we’ve gotten in fights about.  Seriously?

 

So, as usual, the first step is accepting you have a problem and the next step is…

Putting down the device.  Closing the computer.  Looking the child in the eye and saying, “Yes, honey?” And REALLY HEARING them. Especially the one(s) I want to learn to listen.

DUH.

Step Two might be to stop nagging so much (for me anyway) and gently suggest they put their socks in the hamper.  And then Step Three might be “Offer Them A Cookie”for doing it.  You know, just until they get into the habit. 😉

I want to publicly apologize for not listening to my little non-listener.  We agreed we would both start working on it and closed the deal with a big hug.

I hope he forgives me for modeling crappy behavior.  I’m pretty sure he heard me when I told him I was sorry.

(heh heh, see what I did there?)

Will there still be times when he doesn’t want to hear me say “go pick up your toys” and decides to ignore my request? Sure.  Will I still have times when I am internally telling him to “buggar off” because he decided to ask me something right in the middle of me typing an email or texting his Dad? Yep.

However, we are BOTH much more aware (OHMYGOSH,ESPECIALLYME) that we need to do our best to listen to each other now.  And that is sure to make a big difference.

 

Are you listening?