“Her is Big Now”

We gathered on the “L”-shaped sofa, the five of us.  Earlier that day we declared it family movie night and just minutes before we all settled down, we scrambled around our cozy, lived-in house, grabbing the right sized jammies for everyone, from the little to the big, and clothed ourselves in our comfiest of things.  Flannel and knit and long sleeves and short.

I sat next to Ben, who chose his fluffy robe and his favorite blanket with his name, it was his for sure.  But he let me borrow a corner for my chilly feet. On the other end was my man, snuggling our cute Gavin, his arm around his arm. Father and son.  And on my other side, smack in the middle, was my little K, who sat RIGHT next to me with her cute, small feet crossed at the ankles, anticipating what we were about to watch.

And then we began the movie, BRAVE.

K stood up for a second as “Merida” changed to a young lady right before our eyes and I saw it too, my little girl, changing before MY eyes, there next to me in underwear instead of a diaper.

Katie exclaimed, “Her is big now!!”

And my mother mind thought – “yes, she is… and so are you…”

And just like that my baby is a big girl, wearing “princess” underwear.

I keep having flashes of when she was a baby.  These little light bulbs go off over and over in my head, of her so tiny, my baby.

But those days are over now.  Gone.

And, don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining about almost being DONE with diapers. (Oh no, I am not!) And I am excited about the fact that “family movie night” is a real thing now, with our family of five.

But still.

No matter what, some part of me still mourns for those baby days that lasted such a short, short time.

I simply blinked, and they were gone…