Dreaming of a full night’s sleep…

Sometimes motherhood smacks you in the face. I kinda feel liked I’ve been smacked around a lot lately. I have some emotional bruises to prove it. My kids may too. But I hope they are healed by the hugs and kisses I dole out and the jokes we tell and the times we spend playing or building together.

But.

I’m tired right now. EVERY night my Little G wakes up to go pee or has already peed, if you get my drift. I’ve now washed his entire set of bedding (which includes a comforter/duvet thingy that has to be reassembled…) two days in a row. And Tim has been a huge help in the middle of the night, usually getting up with him but I still wake up. It’s like having an infant again.

And I’m not sure why he’s regressed in this area. So then I do start to wonder. What’s up with him that he’s wearing a pull-up again tonight, after MONTHS without them?  What have I done wrong?

I promised myself I’d be more patient, understanding. With both of us.  But sometimes it’s SO hard.

I fussed at the boys tonight because they were up in their room, making noise much past bedtime and I know they need their rest. And lately, anytime I fuss at him, The B Man says to me “You don’t like me!”  But it’s SO not true. Of course I like him. I love him so, so much.

But I’m tired.

The other night Little G did sleep through, without getting up until about 6:00 a.m. It was like the first time one of our babies “slept through the night”. Tim and I looked at each other in bed, with new clarity of a full night’s sleep and he said to me, “oh thank goodness he slept all night.”

This morning I put the clean bedding back on his bed again while he was at school and Baby K was napping. When I was done I lay down on it and smelled the lingering scent of my little boy as I drifted off for a few minutes.

I love them all so much. But sometimes this Mama gig is a bit tough. Right now I think sleep would help a lot though so, goodnight…  I can only hope that we all sleep tight…