A Letter to My Tween Son

Dear Ben-

I will be honest with you from the start, I had no idea what I was really getting into when I had you.  And when I say that I mean I had NO IDEA how much I was going to love you.  No concept of what it would be like in my heart to hold you close and call you mine.  It was rough at first.  Adjusting to life as a mother is sometimes.  But then I began to really know you.  You were my son and I was your Mommy.  Even during the rough patches of tantrums and potty training and when your matched your stubbornness with mine, I still had a heart bursting with love for you.

And even now, as you are growing into a young man, asking questions about things that are more adult and morphing from a cute, little boy into a “tween”, that same heart of mine aches for all that is to come.  This transition is major and one of the hardest you’ll make in your lifetime.  That pimple you had on your nose the week before last is the first of many.  That little girl you had a crush on last year?  Also, one of many.

So here are some things I want to share with you as you stand on the edge of this new thing.  This amazing, but confusing and crazy, wild thing:

 

Never tie your self worth in with someone else.  You are worth everything on your own, just as you are.  Just because someone doesn’t see you for how amazing you are, is not a reflection on you, but on them.  Let them go.  There is someone else out there who will love you for who you are.

Friends come and go.  The true ones will stick around for a long time and through anything.

Keep doing things because YOU like doing them.  Do things because they make you happy, don’t worry about what others may say.  For you specifically I’m talking about your drawings and karate and even playing with your younger brother and sister.  Just do it.

You are a natural leader.  Use this to your advantage but not to take advantage of others.  I can see that you probably already know this, but I am just reminding you.  People like you so much and you have a natural calmness about you and  care about others so much.   People will always be attracted to these qualities in you.  This is part of the reason your school elected you President.  They look up to you and trust you.  That is a truly amazing thing.

I am SO proud of the work you are doing to learn karate and the discipline and skills you are acquiring as well.  The things your Sensei is teaching you now you will carry with you throughout your lifetime.

I know you get really frustrated with your younger siblings sometimes.  I have NO idea what it is like to be the oldest.  I’m sure it is hard in many ways but I also think it must be pretty awesome in others.  Just know that they love you and look up to you as well, even when they are bothering you, know it.  The relationships you have with them will be important long down the road…

Peanut butter is not a food group (sorry, just had to throw that one in there…)

Some days you will be sad and you may not even know why.  But any time you are sad you can come to me or Dad (or both).  We are here for you, always.

There might be a few times that you think “life isn’t fair” and even though that may actually be the case, just keep doing what you know is good and right and you will be fine.

God is always there for you.  Turn to Him when you need to.  Pray and feel His comfort.  Even in hard times He is there.  I promise.

Know that Dad and I (and so many others) love you no matter what.  Even if you mess up, make mistakes, hurt others, we are here.  We may have to set your straight but we will always love you. Forever.

Lastly, wear sunscreen.

 

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With “tweendom” comes many milestones, little and big.  As a member of the Netflix Stream Team,  I have joined with them to celebrate them all.  I receive products/services for posting once a month.  As always, all opinions are my own.

 

For the kiddos:

For the “tweens”:

For the parents: