Categories: ElaineLoveMarriageTim

A Compromise

In the very near future Tim and I will celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary.  It’s an odd number, that 13….literally.  We will also recognize that we have been together for a total of 17 years, which WOW, how in the world did that happen?

There are days that I feel like that is such a long time but then I look at my parents, who have been married 52 years and Tim’s grandparents who just celebrated their 72nd wedding anniversary.  Part of me cannot imagine LIVING that long much less being married that long!

There are also days when I feel like it was just yesterday that we both said, “I will”.  And meant it.

It is true that this marriage gig is not always easy. Tim and I are much the same but we are also very different in some ways (besides the obvious ones, hello Mars & Venus!).  There are things that he enjoys that I do not and vice versa.

One of the things that has always been a point of contention between us is that I am not that much of a fan of classical music.  I grew up playing it on the piano and singing it in choruses and I do appreciate it and think it is beautiful BUT.  While in a moving vehicle I would MUCH rather be pumpin’ the jams than listening to Mozart.  Tim, he loves to listen to it, ANY time.

So, this topic recently came up again on a drive somewhere and he wanted to play some concerto thingy in the van and I’m all like “WHY ME?  Can’t we listen to ‘Payphone’ just ONE more time!?!?”

And the kids are all like “‘Payphone, YES!!”

(what? They spend way more time in the van with me than him!)

Anyway, he rolled his eyes (how they are not in the back of his head by now I do NOT know) and changed to the beats the rest of us like.  He’s a pleaser like that.  Or he was out-voted, whatever.

Fast forward a few days and I happened to pick up a copy of a local magazine that lists all the events for our area and I saw that the symphony was playing on a night we could probably go.

So… I stealthily made sure his calendar was clear for last night and I got tickets and yes folks, this almost-married-13-years couple had a date night on a Monday!!  Dinner, concert, dessert.  It was wonderful.

that’s part of the cathedral behind us…

The concert was in St. John’s Cathedral (I presume to take advantage of the amazing acoustics) and when the small orchestra began to play this beautiful violin concerto I thought I might start to cry. Music has and always will conjure emotions in me like nothing else.  The beautiful notes and the instrumental skill of the two main violinists sent me to a different place. It was like nothing I had heard in a very long time…

And I was so proud of myself for doing something that I know my husband LOVES, for him, for us.  And he was so proud of me too and so happy to be there, in that moment.

As we drove away I told him about my feelings and how I started to tear up and he said,

“So let me get this straight, classical music ‘live’ – good, but classical music ‘in the car’ – bad”.

“Yep.”

Well, thankfully it only took thirteen 17 years for us to get that straight and I plan to get tickets for the next concert in November.

But the van?  It’s going to keep pumpin’ the jams, Yo.

Peace out!*



*does anyone even say that anymore??

Elaine

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Elaine

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