You spot her as you drive up – she’s walking with earnest. With her, a child grasping her hand – probably toting a cutsie backpack over their small shoulders, as they lag behind just a bit, their soft hair bouncing as they go, their steps a little unsure.
That “her” is you, or well, me.
I have been dropping kids off at pre-school for over 7 years (10+ if we count daycare). I know that walk with purpose in dropping them off and I really know how it goes when everyone has to “let go”, both physically and metaphorically, at the beginning of the day. I have hidden behind doors to see how a child would do, how quickly their cries would end. I have dropped them off as they walk away and said jovially, “Bye, Mom!”, but not usually until they were a bit older. All of my kids have been clingers. A couple of them even criers (the boys) (don’t tell them I told you). Lately though, even K has not wanted to let me go, as she wraps her two little arms around my one, pulling and making a pouty face. Car-line drop-off has become my savior (trust me, she is fine).
There is a feeling of relief once everyone has separated and you have both gone on to start your day separately. You know they are in good hands and with friends and learning and living and playing, but it can still be hard to walk away. A few times I have even gotten teary, thinking about them gone from me for several hours at a time. I think perhaps I am missing “moments” and things they say and interactions with friends.
However, I have always known that I needed that time, and so have they. All of my children have flourished in pre-school. Besides learning and getting some extra play time, they have also made friends and had wonderful teachers.
But I would be lying if I said the drop-offs have always been smooth and never affected me, because they have. I’ve been embarrassed at times, trying to make a child stay. Why would that be? Why should I be embarrassed that my child wants to stay with me, their mom?
We’ve been blessed to have sweet teachers who have always reassured me – “She only cried for a minute”. “He was fine right after you left.” And with that my mommy-guilt goes down by about .05%. I’ll take it. 
And of course the time comes, later in the day, when you are reunited and yes, it feels so good. 
I see her (me and all the other moms) walking again in the afternoon with a new purpose. We are walking BACK to our babies. We’ve had our time to spend doing things for ourselves, or being minus one kid and napping when the baby naps. Hopefully, we are somewhat refreshed, rejuvenated. I know we are thankful to the teachers for giving us this time and for the willingness to teach and be with our children.
But we are also ready to be whole again. To have our little ones hug our necks, as we grab them up, back in our maternal arms.
It’s enough to make us forget the witching hour that is probably upon us…
Little G, first day of pre-school, back in the day (aka 2009)
*some musings as I come to terms with the fact that my kids are about to be DONE with pre-school. I KNOW.
Did you or do your kids still go to pre-school? How have the days of drop-offs been for you?
I remember those days! All three of my girls did preschool at our church and we definitely had days when they went in kicking and screaming. For me, I was actually kind of happy to be done with preschool and have them all in one place for once. It was the “void” once the youngest started kindergarten that got me. the four hours they were in preschool always seemed to fly by, but all day in elementary school?? Not so much.
Lisa @ The Golden Spoons recently posted…My Blogging Story and Five Year Blogiversary!
I’m curious about that extended time too, Lisa. I’m actually investigating ways to fill it with better use of my time. We’ll see!
The boys just went back to school today after a week off. Their father dropped them off and told me that the little one cried and cried, created a big scene. When he came home from school, instead of heading to his grandparents place with his big brother, he chose to come home to be with me. Heart puddle.
Alison recently posted…Mom Babble
Aw, sweet boy. Maybe he just needed a tad more Mommy time.
I had mornings of peeking and hiding and wondering if they would be OK. (They always were,) I remember it was a weird feeling to be done with preschool last year – like the end of an era. Now I have school-aged kids – how does that happen?
Kim recently posted…The Bread Maker
No idea, Kim. Darn Time.
Good thing they are always (usually) okay.
Oh man. The end of an era.
All of my boys were great being dropped off at preschool. No problems. Grace was a first class clinger. She would try so hard to be brave but her little chin would start quivering and it was heartbreaking listening to her plead and cry. Ugh. And I know she liked school! She always was happy again when I came to pick her up and her teacher reassured me she was happy in class. It is just those goodbyes. It went on for pretty much the whole year of 3K (on and off) and at least half of 4K. Another reason I was glad that I could keep her in a half day program for kindergarten.
My oldest just turned twelve yesterday. TWELVE. And next year Grace is in 1st grade. Dear God, where does the time go????
Kat recently posted…A Dozen
You made me giggle with “first class clinger”. Ha!
Also, did you say 12??? Ben will be 11 in a few weeks. Although he acts like he’s 25 already so for him it does not seem like that big of a deal but to ME!!!
I remember seeing a lot of those morning moments when T was in preschool – and sometimes even longed for a tiny bit of care that I was leaving. But our oldest is extra independent. But our little one is definitely a clinger…holding on to my legs for dear life, as I feel terrible for prying her off & quickly exiting. But then the payback comes when she doesn’t want to leave at pickup time. But with the end of the preschoolers brings the start of a new one, right?
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K is definitely ready to go when I pick her up! She still naps so… she’s usually still groggy.
We’re about to register Des for preschool – I can’t believe it.
He’s in daycare this year – an at home daycare. The teacher said she’s never seen such a chill two-year-old (not a clinger..sob) but during the first week he’d cry. Sure. The good thing is that she’d text me photos of him by the time I got home so I could relax and know he was happy! I swear iPhones really do make life easier for me.
Scarlet was pretty much always fine in preschool and kindergarten.
The real stage five clinger is… ME!
Tamara recently posted…100 Days.
Ha, too funny Tamara! That is cool about her texting you photos. See, technology can be a really good thing, right?
So well described! I love to pick my kids up from school. . . and yes, without fail every time the house gets really crazy about an hour later with four different kids needing so much and so many different things from each . . . and yes by the time my husband gets home I’m something of a much crankier version than what I was at 3:15. BUT, I still love those moments when they’re coming towards my car about to tell me about their days.
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Thanks, Nina.
Oh yes, it’s so sweet, as they approach, with big smiles, ready to be back with us and telling us ALL about it!
Jack did super last year but this year he clings a lot more and has be coaxed into joining the class. But in the end he always has a good time.
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