I had a terrifying dream the other night.
It was one of those where you find yourself halfway between the dream and real life and knowing it’s just a dream, but still, you are sort of stuck there.
I woke up crying in my bed, the morning light barely starting to show through the blinds.
I dreamed that one of my children drowned.
I never saw his face but in the dream I knew which one it was.
While in the dream I was with my three children and we were at a lake with some “unidentified” friends (couldn’t tell who in the dream). Tim and the husband friend had gone off in a boat and I was left to oversee the three children.
I got to talking to the wife friend and before I knew it we’d been talking a while and I didn’t know where my kids even were.
I ran over to the edge of a pier and all I could see was one tennis shoe floating barely above the surface. At first it looked like an adult shoe but as the leg was lifted more from out of the water (by what I do not know) I could see it was my child’s leg and I knew it had been too long for him to survive. I just stood there. Frozen.
And then I woke up.
It was really hard for me to just type that all out.
I’m crying again now.
One of my biggest fears in this life is that I would see one of my children die. I know it happens to others but I’m not sure if I could survive it…
I laid there crying while Tim continued to lightly snore next to me and I prayed to God for Him to protect and keep my children, in His hands, no matter what.
And then my mind was reeling with the details about where my other two children were. I never saw them again in the dream. But I felt like they were okay, somewhere. But I wasn’t sure.
I continued to question myself. Why didn’t I make sure they were all okay? WHAT?!?!?! What, was wrong with me?
I’d failed them all.
It was horrible. Just horrible.
That morning, during real life, I hugged him tighter and held him close.
I couldn’t bear to EVER lose him.
That’s not the way it’s supposed to be.
They are all here. I am blessed and thankful.
NO more dreams like that please.
No more…
Oh my gosh, that would be my worst nightmare! I bet you were so relieved to wake up and realize it was a dream…..I had something similar just recently too…must be because we’re moms and we always worry….I’m with you on never having another one of those again! 🙂
Oh Elaine! **shiver** what an awful dream. Hugs!!
What a horrible nightmare. But I know that stuck in the middle feeling all too well. I know it’s a dream, but it seems to real. Just 2 nights agao I woke up whimpering and grabbing hubs.
That is a true nightmare. The worst thing I could think of. Thank heavens you woke up. I can’t believe some people actually live nightmares like that. I don’t know how I would cope. I can’t even think it.
Hope you dream lovely, pleasant dreams tonight.
Whatever you ate right before bed? Don’t ever eat it again! That gave me the shudders and it wasn’t even my dream. Just keep telling yourself that your children are safe, and it was just a bad dream. And dream happier dreams tonight!
I hate those dreams…the awful ones that feel so real and devastating. I always hug my children tighter after episodes like that as well. No parent should have to outlive their child. It’s too cruel.
Oh Elaine, I totally know how you feel, I had one where Jack died…it was AWFUL. And worse yet, was that my dad had taken him for a ride in a truck and not put on his seatbelt…I can’t even imagine! I was never so happy to wake up in all my life.
It was just a dream! And hugging all of them a little closer is the perfect response.
Big hugs, my friend!
I have had those dreams too. They are awful. Drowning is one of my worst fears for my children and I pray often and fervently that it does not happen. I get tense just thinking about swimming with them.
Oh how terrifying!! I have had similar dreams – they are terrible.