Scars of the Past

His arm has two scars. I sort of know the story of how they came to be but I did not know him then.

He fell.

He fell years before I did.

He has those scars as well as many others that you cannot actually see.

Most of mine stay hidden as well. They are tucked away, some in the very forefront of my brain, on any given day. Other times, hiding in a small, reserved part of my heart. You cannot see them, but they are most certainly there.

We try to mask our scars. Sometimes we do our best to pretend they are not there, even while they are being carved out. Some people’s are more evident than others.

But in the end it is how we treat them that really matters. Our scars do not have to define us. They can “just be” there, without us giving them a lot of attention or credence, especially as we heal. And that of course, takes time.

Really, anything worth doing or waiting for does.

When I was a little girl our Beagle, Chester, bit me on the knee (the knee of all places!). I had an apparent scar on my left leg for several years after that. Every time I looked down and saw it again I would feel a little bitterness towards him for doing that to me.

This is why I am glad I cannot see most of my scars. The lack of physical evidence helps me deal with them in a better way. And perhaps helps to erase them more easily, in the long run.

Time, it takes time. And patience. And resolve. To not let old hurts keep us trapped. To not let us become bitter because a scar is taking longer to fade than we want or had hoped (my dog-bite scar is gone now, by the way).

No one is scar-less, we are all “walking wounded”* in one way or another, some of us in multiple ways. The key is to let the healing happen and to put our faith in the belief that it will.

My belief comes from a place that is deeper than something I can fully comprehend. It comes from my belief in God and something greater than myself, or any of us. This being that created miracles and aids in them happening every day. I know not everyone can go along with that theory, however it is something I cling to with much steadfastness.

While praying the other day I came across this passage in a daily devotional book my mom gave me many years ago, God Calling (different than the book Jesus Calling, which is popular these days):

“Regret nothing. Not even the sins and failures. When a man views earth’s wonders from some mountain height he does not spend his time in dwelling on the stones and stumbles, the faints and failures, that mark his upward path. So with you. Breathe in the rich blessings of each new day – forget all that lies behind you.”

So yes, the scars are there, but they are fading more every day. And with my faith in God that will continue on and on…

 

 

*shout out to my friend Marie for this term. It’s pretty perfect.