I have always considered myself a pretty positive person, but I know sometimes I can also be like Eeyore.
I try to be a glass half full, see the bright side kind of gal, but right now, at certain times, that is level 10 difficult.
I was talking with a good friend the other night and she went on for a good minute about how well she thinks I am handling things. However, the other morning I broke down while reading Jenn Hatmaker’s book, For The Love, and I got jealous of her awesome Supper Club. Couples, enjoying each other’s homemade meals and company. Sounds perfect.
Now don’t get me wrong, I know her life is not perfect, but still. That part sounds like it is to me.
And I know that I am going to break down at any given moment these days. I just wish it was not when I forgot to wash my face I never do the night before and mascara started running down my cheeks and onto my pillowcase. Great, more laundry.
I believe I am doing better than I myself expected, and I am grateful for that feeling. But (y’all knew there was a “but” in there…) some days, man, I just want to throw in the towel.
I had a much needed, super relaxing massage the other day and though I was sore later on, it was the best birthday gift I have ever redeemed 10 months later. It made me smile.
I am always on the lookout for things that make me smile instead of cry. Part of the reason I love Instagram so much. Other people’s photos make me smile.
I am not depressed. I am just going through something. Something really hard.
I know I can persevere, I do..
For instance, I got myself a job!
Perhaps the most ideal job I could get right now and I am COMPLETELY stoked. I will tell y’all more about it later. Just know that it is totally in my wheelhouse and I can already tell what a great atmosphere it is, full of good people.
Of course I also have my amazing kids. Yeah, they are struggling a bit too. All of this is A LOT. But they are resilient little monkeys and I thank the Good Lord Above for them and their hearts every day.
And all of my family. Who have been my rock, even if just over the phone (and especially, IN PERSON, at the holidays, when I so needed them). As well as my friends. Wow, I have some really good friends.
Plus this world still has chocolate and wine and cupcakes so life is good.
See? Totally a positive person. 🙂
Now, tell me something positive about YOUR life today. Please!
Aw Elaine my heart hurts for you and I know how hard it can be to be positive when all you want to do is break down. Hugs. And as for a positive, Jack is always my positive and his enthusiasm for the baby always warms my heart.
Julia recently posted…9 Red and Pink Valentine’s Day Cocktails
Don’t forget the world also still has peanut m&m’s and kitchen floors for rolling them across. Even more than that however, the world has friends, new and old that are here to support you through all of this and are praying for you!
Elaine, your strength and wisdom and insight speaks so clearly through your post. I am so sorry you are having to navigate through this new path. One thing I know for sure, is that your strength and faith and love of life will guide you and ultimately bring you to a new place of healing and whoelness.
PS: I just finished Jen’s book over break… she ROCKS. And I have yet to experience ‘couple gatherings’ like the ones she described… I sometimes wish I was her too. 🙂
Chris Carter recently posted…Rock A Bye Boy
WHOLENESS. Geesh… lol
Chris Carter recently posted…Rock A Bye Boy
I’m so excited for you and your new job! You are going to rock it. xoxo
Leigh Ann recently posted…self care and what I’m watching
I see myself as a pretty positive person, too. But we just can’t be ALL the time. There are moments when we have to feel the sadness and the pain, because we are human. We can go on being positive after, though. Plus there are chocolate and cupcakes, like you said. 🙂
Also, LOVE your blog’s new look!! Lovely!
Kim recently posted…How I Take Pictures of My Kids (When They Don’t Really Want Me To)
Sometimes a good old-fashioned ugly cry is just necessary. Cathartic, even. If you don’t get out the sad, then you can’t maintain that positive personality. Don’t feel any shame in it. As for something positive in my life, I finally feel like I’m taking the time to get things done. And working so hard to accomplish a goal feels wonderful. Also…LOVE the design update here, and congrats on the new job!
Leslie recently posted…60+ Valentine’s Day Printables
You ARE a positive person. Even in the midst of such a difficult time you are still trying to be positive. You won’t always succeed, cuz this is HARD. But you are trying. And you ARE strong. And there is nothing wrong with having a good cry. That is not a sign of weakness. It is a purging. It’s good for you.
I can’t wait to hear about this job!!! Way to go!!!!
Continued prayers, friend!
Kat recently posted…Like A Lion
Elaine – your beauty and positive nature will not be subdued. I can’t wait to see what God does in your life, even if it looks a little bleak right now.