I was looking at and working on our family calendar today. The future.
We have kind of a big deal summer vacation in the works for this year and I’m pretty excited, really hoping it works out. I’m like a kid again, anticipating something really fun but “mom” and “dad” have not said “yes” yet and I am really thinking they are going to but not sure.
Also, I am lining up some day camps for the kids and swimming lessons and time in Texas for us to visit family and friends and for me to go to my 20 year!!! high school reunion. Which somehow I am helping plan even though I do not live there.
So today I went through 20 year old old photos of me, scanning some and getting them ready to send off to a friend from HS who is helping to organize things too. It’s really hard to believe A)I graduated high school 20 years ago and B) I am in full swing, planning for ANOTHER summer.
And across from me, while I was planning and writing and thinking about all that is yet to come for the rest of 2013, I saw before me the past, plastered on the side of our refrigerator. Old race bibs, photos of my nieces and nephews that are now outdated, art work by the kids that is months and months old. G’s preschool class picture and a photo card of the boy we sponsor through Compassion, and I am sure he has grown so much since then…
I do this a lot. I look to the past and the future all at once, sort of forgetting the now.
I wish I could live more in the NOW.
I feel like I am all jumbled inside right now, wondering what the future holds. Wondering where we go from here while relishing in the past but not being present in the present…
The scrapbook from my high school days lays open in my kitchen. I laugh as I go through the programs from choir shows, memorabilia from graduation and photos of young, happy faces, anticipating the future.
And I wonder, where will I be 20 years from NOW? How different will my life be then?
One can only hope I will be able to find out while learning to live more for today.
P.S. in the very near future (as in tomorrow night) the next Old School Blogging goes live! Don’t miss it!
Right??? It’s so hard to be a planner, and have to always “know” what’s going to happen just around the bend (even tomorrow), and still somehow live in the moment without forgetting the past. Is it possible??? (Also, that picture is pure beauty)
This is such a great post. A great reminder to be present and aware in the moment. Life flows by so quickly, doesn’t it? I hope your summer is awesome Elaine. Love, Becky
It’s so hard but such a worthy struggle. To stay present. I try every day to re-center myself. Failing a lot but always coming back to today eventually 🙂 Loved this, Elaine. Loved it.
I love everything about this post – and I always wish I could stay in the present more.
I hope you will get that big deal vacation and I want to see pictures!
I do the same thing and what I sort of love is that writing down all of these things is what we’re going to have when we look back on the present. And I can’t wait for 20 years from now to be reading about what I thought about 40 years ago and what I was planning for the future.
I think when you are a planner it’s hard to live in the present. I tend to be the one that plans everything in our family and I have a hard time focusing on the present. I started reading your blog this morning and saw the part about swimming lessons and went and double checked the date of our rec dept. registration. See I can’t even read and stay present.
Oh, I was hoping to see high school pictures of you! The cutie one of your daughter will do, though. I like the way you tied everything together.
OMG I get like that too. Soo excited about the planning of the stuffs. And summer! Can you even believe it’s like right there? Upon us. It’s going to be a good one. Feel it in my bones 🙂 xo.
I do this too. I look forward and behind and think of all the time passing and I miss focusing on the moment I am in. What a great reminder to enjoy now.
I have this problem too, but mine is mostly looking forward. The past is painful, and I don’t like to go there very often, but the future is open and unknown.
I KNOW this so much. Present is so very, very hard for me. xo
I know what you mean. I really need to learn to love my now more. I have so much to love. Yet. Sigh.
Because of my hard childhood I feel I keep holding or referring to my past a lot, but with the good intention to not repeat it in the future. My present seems to be neglected.