I am leaving for Christmas. I have to go because I will not be with my children on Christmas this year. That is going to be crazy tough, no matter where I wake up that morning.
These are the times when I tend to stop short and wonder how life turned out this way. Not being with my children on one of my favorite and most blessed days of the year, is heart-wrenching for me. And if feels so wrong. I know a lot of people do it, but I wasn’t going to be one of those people. I am starting to cry just typing about it.
I am going to do my best to distract myself by going to Canada and spending time with my dear cousin and her sweet family. I hope it works. I mean, I know it will in some ways. I am elated to possibly have my first “white” Christmas ever, and to join in on her family’s traditions. However, I know on Sunday I will miss seeing my children’s faces that morning, as they unwrap their presents. I will miss kissing their sleepy heads and hugging them tight. I will miss watching them play and enjoy the new things they have been gifted with.
I know they will be fine. They will still be with family that loves them. They will enjoy the day no matter what. I pray they will remember and reflect on what Christmas really means, as they attend mass. I don’t want them to miss me as much as I will miss them. Because I would never want them to feel this way.
Please, if your family is all together this holiday season, cherish that. It is worth so much. I know families can be difficult at times, but even through those challenges, loving those God put in our life (especially through birth) is so very important.
The time I spend with my children has become more precious this past year, in general. They are three bright lights of my life, given to me by the Father. I thank Him every day for their existence, their health and their love. And I thank Him for surrounding me with so many blessings, despite the difficulties of this past year.
Merry Christmas from me and my three (and Ollie).
I hope you are surrounded with peace & love this time of year…
Love these words so much. I can only imagine how hard it will be to be without them. You clearly love them with all your being. Have a wonderful Christmas and may your reunion after the holiday be full of more joy than you can imagine 🙂
Thank you, Carla. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas too!
I hope you have a very wonderful Christmas with your family in Canada. I pray that God gives you strength. I cannot imagine, but you will get through it with your faith. Good luck my friend and God bless.
Thank you so much, Yvonne. Merry Christmas to you too!
Oh Elaine. That is so hard. I’m so sorry. I know I would feel the same way.
I’m glad you have special plans for the holidays. Hopefully it will be just what you need.
And thank you for the reminder to treasure this time.
Sending you prayers of peace and God’s all encompassing, comforting love.
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Thank you so much, my sweet friend. I hope you and yours have a blessed, peaceful Christmas!
This is the first time I have ever read your blog. My oldest daughter was two when I divorced my then husband. So I understand being away from children on holidays and how hard it is.
I am sending you love.
Thank you for reading and commenting, Kari. And I’m sorry that you can relate. Love back to you…
Oh friend, I started crying just reading this. You truly are an amazing and strong woman! I hope you do get that white Christmas and can feel peace and the joy of your children that day, even if they are far away.
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Thank you, sweet friend. Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Elaine… I can’t imagine and I’m so so sorry. Did you try to work out a way to do either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day with your kids? Surely you have the right to be with them at Christmas?! Where in Canada will you be? I’m in Ottawa.