I sat in the comfortable lobby, filling out the short questionnaire about my medical history, as new age music softly played over the speakers. I was so happy to be in the spa, waiting for my first massage in a while. I needed this relaxation time, badly. I filled out the standard information like my name and address, etc.
But then “that” question was there.
“Who should we contact in case of an emergency?”
Well, I’m not really sure at this point.
See, I used to have a standard answer for that question. I used to have that one person that was my definite emergency go to.
But that is no longer the case.
Sure, I can still put his name. I can still put his phone number. I can still have him as my “in case”.
But do I want to? Would I rather put a good friend, because there is no other family who is local…
He should still care if there was an emergency. I mean, I know he stills cares. I think he still cares.
However, continuing to put him in that space doesn’t seem right to me. Since he cannot be my husband anymore then I probably do not need him to be my emergency contact either.
These are the hard, little things no one talks about in divorce. Instead it is all about custody and dividing money and things. It’s all about when he has the kids and when I do. It’s all about who is going to pay for braces and summer camp. It’s all about what I “did” to him or what he “did” to me and how we did not really mean for it to go this way but it did anyway.
But no one wonders about who their emergency contact will be until they are sitting in the comfortable, nice-smelling spa lobby and it pops up on the info sheet they request you fill out. And then things aren’t nearly as relaxing anymore…
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers my friend. For continued strength and peace and comfort.
Hi sweetie pie. I love you, and am reminding you that you matter so much to me and many others. If I were close, I’d be your emergency contact. As it is, I can be your long-distance cheerleader.
Jennie Goutet recently posted…Tasty Vegan Wraps
I can only imagine all the little things that pop up to remind you and that make you pause. I know that you will face them all and it will get easier, but I am sure they are hard to deal with in the moment.
Sending you hugs and strength, my friend.
Kim recently posted…So I Married a Heat Vampire
Elaine. There are times like these I wish some of us were physically closer so that we can be your in case of emergency.
So many things tangled together. I wish I could be closer. xoxo
Andrea recently posted…Balancing Act
I’m so sorry, Elaine. I’m sending you virtual hugs and prayers. I can’t imagine all the things that pop up and remind you of the “new normal”. I always hated that phrase. It always means we have to accept something hard to accept. My heart goes out to you. Know you are loved.
Sweet Elaine. I think about you every day. I can’t help but think that writing your way through this will help. xoxo
Been there.
Actually I still put my ex down because if something happened to me he’d need to make sure the kids were managed. Which has saved me from figuring out who else because I don’t know who to put in that spot otherwise.
Hugs.
I guess that makes sense. But I kind of hate that it does…
Hugs back!
I hate that you are having to go through this. You can use me as your emergency contact. I’m not super close, but I will always come when needed.
Jennifer recently posted…Everyday Adventure
So many hugs. I don’t have any advice here, but you’re right that I never really thought about those little moments. Hopefully you were able to relax at some point during your massage.
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