It’s been over 5 months since we left Texas.
Five months to find a new place for Chinese take out (it took ALMOST THAT long). Five months to find a church we like (but not nearly as much as our previous one). Five months of meeting new people and finding our way around town.
We’re getting pretty settled and keeping busy especially now, with the holidays in full force.
However, there are times that I still can’t help thinking about “what could have been.”
We moved because my husband got a job offer that was just too good to turn down.
We did NOT move because we were unhappy where we were. And that part is still hard.
So I wonder,
Who’s raking the leaves that sit in my old front yard?
And Who’s sitting at the desk in the Kindergarten class where my son was supposed to sit?
Who’s being loved on instead by the “twos” teacher at our church where Little G was supposed to go?
Who’s talking to my friends on the playground after we get the kids from class?
Who’s running on the treadmill that I used to run on at the health club?
Who’s singing in the church choir in my stead?
Who’s smiling at my favorite cashier at my old grocery store?
Who’s getting the mail out of the beautiful stone mailbox I had built last Spring? (and perhaps still getting a few old pieces for me too…)
Who’s eating at my favorite local Italian restaurant and partaking of one of their yummy Peach Belinis?
Who’s driving the same roads day in and day out that I drove, taking my children places, going shopping and to dinner with friends?
I know all these things don’t really matter because I do believe I’m where I am supposed to be. Where He wants me to be, but still, sometimes I just can’t help but wonder…
Even though the move was for a good reason, I can see why you’d wonder all of that.
I hope that with time, you’ll find a new favorite restaurant, a new favorite cashier, and feel just as at home as you did before.
When we moved up here from Chicagoland, someone said “you’ll always mourn what you had before you start rejoicing for what you have.” I have found that to be so true. ‘But the worship at this church isn’t like our old one…’ and ‘This Chinese place doesn’t make crab rangoons the same as our old one…’ But there comes a time very soon where if you had to up and leave this new place, you’d miss it, too. PS we’ve been here 1.5 years and are still church shopping. Sigh.
I don’t know who’s doing all those things that you used to do (well, STILL do but in a different place). I do know that I am overdue a visit with you, though : ).
I think it’s nice that you miss your old place, special memories…but maybe if you moved back it would not feel right? “What if” expectations are tough to live up to when we actually get the chance..when we moved from Calgary I missed it dearly for the first year…and then new memories were made and I cannot imagine moving back…
Enjoy the holidays!
I know what you mean.
The people who bought our old house still haven’t moved in so it is just sitting empty now. At Christmas. A house that was once so full of love is now empty. Makes me really sad.
Hopefully sharing your feelings will help the sadness/wistfulness abate a little bit. It will get better!
UGH! The big picture is so hard to see, but I understand what you mean and where you’re coming from. It’s like maybe someone else out there is living your life, but you know it’s not your life anymore……. and 17 years of living here and I still don’t have a “go to” Chinese place.
I’ve never moved that far or from somewhere I had such strong ties. I cannot imagine how hard that is, no matter how necessary the move was. *hugs* Hope the new place feels more like home soon.
I think if we left here, I would feel the same way. It’s just human nature when you loved living there.
I hope that someday you will feel that way about this new home. Or get to move back!
Oh, sweetie. It must be so hard. I can’t imagine.
Hugs to you today.
I have always lived in the same city. In fact I know live about 2 miles from where I grew up. I often wonder what it would be like to move some where completely new.
I think I would wonder all the same things!
I drive past our old house every day (I don’t really have a choice since it’s across the street from our daycare) and knowing what is going on is a little weird. The shrubs that I meticulously took care of were cut too short and killed. The broken hinge on the door is STILL not fixed. There are no Christmas decorations at all. It’s all kinda sad. 🙁
When we moved last year, we found out that the new owners had pretty much gutted the entire house and started over. I was devastated. There were memories made and when you are no longer there it doesnt mean the memories are gone…..
Aww honey. :o( This makes me so sad for you. I feel a little bit the same way – but my “new home” is only an hour from my “old home”…which it just far enough to make everything different. I HAVE seen my old house now…and it makes me sad and depressed. BUT, now that you have a new Chinese takout place – LA is surely becoming home!
I can really sense your hurt here.
I totally understand how easy it is to ask “what if”…I do it all the time myself.
I’m praying that you will find more peace and comfort in your new home state each day.
Love ya girl…hang in there…things can only go up from here. 🙂
Elaine,
I hope in time you won’t wonder quite so much. I want you to love my home state! But I do understand, seeing as I had to move up here to Kansas from Louisiana 5 years ago. Honestly I think it was a good 2-3 years before I started feeling like KC was “home,” although having children here helped out with that. As well as making some new friends….
i am so sorry you’re missing home, but i do so ‘get’ it. i moved from australia to mississippi and cried (behind closed doors, usually in the shower) for months. it will get better. making friends helps. soon it will feel ‘you’..
I honestly have never thought of moving like that. I guess I haven’t really moved yet in my life. The farthest I have gone is 45 minutes from where I grew up. I hope it gets easier.
NOBODY is singing in the church choir in your place–we miss you very much! love to you all, Ann
Yes, you are where you supposed to be. You have everything right there. I can see moving away would be hard though. If we ever move from this house I’ll be sad.