Last Sunday after mass the church choir sang “Happy Birthday” to me and Ms. Judy, another choir member. We share a birthday, and after the singing ended I told her that I did not realize we shared our special day. She laughed and said, “Yes, I am at 39 and holding!” I laughed back a little and said, “That is how old I am going to be!” She was not that amused.
Age is a funny thing. Because from my experience we never really “feel” as old as we are. Like last summer, while at my high school reunion, for a little while I felt 18 again, hanging out with the people I knew back then. And at Christmas when I was sick, and stayed in Austin an extra day to let my “Mommy” take care of me. That day I felt 8 again.
Yes, of course I have three children and have been married for almost 15 years and am approaching the age I used to think was “so old” (that would be 40, by the way) but that does not mean I feel it. That does not mean I do not still like to wear trendy clothes (age appropriate ones of course) or that I don’t like to roller skate or laugh out loud as I swing so high at the park, I try to touch the tree limbs with my feet.
As I applied moisturizer to my face the other day I thought about how people often comment on my skin and how wrinkly I am NOT and I smiled. Good skin is a good thing. And it’s my birthday so I am going to talk about it. 😉 But then I start to think about how my body is just not what it used to be and that comparing myself to another someone I see online or even in real life that is a decade younger that me is not a good idea (it happens, it does).
I promised myself I would be brave this year and that includes letting some of that stuff go. And in this last year of my thirties, I want it to be a year that I am proud of and to know that I took some chances. I want to end this decade with fond memories and thoughts of a time well lived. Sure, I’ve made some mistakes (and gained some wrinkles, despite popular opinion – hee hee!) but I have also come to know myself, my husband and my children better. And I have realized what is really important in my life, which has meant letting some other things slide, and that is okay. I look at it like this, those days are behind me and I would not be who I am now without them. But now, on a day like my birthday I am looking ahead. The future is where it’s at and there is so much to look forward to…
I have always loved my birthday and I always will. I love the time of year in which it falls and I like the sound of “March 26th” as it leaves my lips when anyone asks “when is your birthday?” No, I cannot change the year, and I am pretty sure I wouldn’t even if I could. I like any reason to celebrate with friends and family and to eat cupcakes or cake or cheesecake or any dessert I love. I like presents and thoughtful cards. I like celebrating LIFE.
Birthdays are for celebrating the day we were born. The day God gave us breath and decided to watch over us on this earth. The day all our big plans began.
Birthdays are wonderful. And I am so happy today is mine.