While the hubster was out of town at a bachelor party in Vegas a few weeks ago… (yes, I AM THE best wife EVER for letting him go) (and YES, he keeps using that line “what happens in Vegas…”) blah, blah, blah…
Wait, what was I talking about?
I took the kids for frozen yogurt.
Do I know how to party or what?
Anyway…. I like to take them for frozen yogurt because I usually get some too and it’s yummy but going at it on your own with three kids can be kinda crazy.
Let’s break it down, shall we?
*Get all kids out of car and cross parking lot to yogurt shop making sure no one gets run over.
*Yell ‘Hold hands” a few times as they all run ahead by themselves NOT stopping to look both ways first.
*By the grace of God all children and you arrive safely to the glass door, finger-printed with yogurt smudges and one child almost clocks the other with said door out of sheer excitement about vanilla loaded with gummy bears.
*Tell smallish child repeatedly “DO NOT LICK” the metal grate thingys that collect all the yogurt that the middle child “accidentally” made come out by “accidentally” pushing down on the metal handle.
*Grab three REALLY BIG cups (because they only come in one size that I believe is called “AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD”, even though you just want a little). And I KNOW what you are doing there local yogurt shop, I am on to YOU!
*Tell oldest kid to get his own while repeating four times “You can handle getting your own, right?!” Let oldest kid get his own while you wrangle two other cups and try to get smaller children to “make a cotton-pickin’ decision already!”
Oh, yes, they want vanilla after all, just like every time and just like their big brother.
*Look over to see that the oldest, who you expected to “handle it” didn’t “handle it” so well and has yogurt dripping down the side of his enormous cup and his shirt.
*Lunge like ElastiGirl for napkins. Lots of them.
*Clean him up AS he licks the yogurt from the side of the container. “Hmmmm, it’s good”.
“Mommy, can I have gummy bears AND mini M&Ms?!?”
Sure kid. Whatever.
*Load up on multi-colored, overly expensive candy.
*Scurry back to other side of yogurt shop to get another cup for your own serving and spot the White Chocolate Mousse flavor. Put your gigantic cup below the spout and wait and WAIT as it comes out SLOWER THAN SLOWER THAN SLOW.
*Hear kids whining by the counter, “Moooooommmm, can I eat mine yet? Please come pay the monies!!!”
*Run to the candy counter to grab at least one scoop of stale, crumbled Oreos or something of the chocolate variety to put on top as fast as you can.
* Put all yogurts on scale thingy so you can pay $15 for gummy bears and frozen milk for four.
*Wipe the sweat from your brow and enjoy the yogurt of your labor.
You know, until someone needs another napkin (or four).