Her three children love to listen to her sing Prince’s “Adore” in the car, her husband worships her, and her coworkers clap when she calls out on days with scheduled meetings. That sentence is entirely true except for the parts that aren’t. Arnebya is known for making light of everything you think is serious business (breastfeeding vs formula, natural vs medicated birth, stay at home vs work outside the home, Democrat vs Republican, Duncan Hines vs Betty Crocker! White after Labor Day!). She writes to keep from killing at What Now and Why. You can also find her being lazy on Twitter and not obnoxious enough on Facebook.
In fact, they don’t know it. They know I can’t swim, sure, but they don’t know that I think WE ALL GON’ DIE the minute I see the water. Worse, it feels like last winter stretched on so long that once summer finally showed up my kids went crazy. Two of them talk incessantly about the pool. Let’s go to the pool. Is the pool open? Mommy. Pool! Pool. Poooooooool. I want to say yes, let’s head to the pool. But in reality, I am itching and keening in a corner like I have missed my last hit of crack. Let’s just stay home. Who wants cupcakes for dinner?
Is there anything you’re afraid to do but feel compelled to treat like you’re unafraid (especially because kids you don’t even know and attack you unnecessarily?)