It was morning and I stood at the kitchen sink doing some dishes.
Behind me I heard noises. Of the child kind. Lots of them.
The toddler was babbling about something while playing with her scrambled eggs. The pre-schooler was talking about what he was going to draw and wielding a crayon. Again.
I blocked them out a bit and looked somewhat longingly out the window over the sink and into my neighbor’s car port where her vehicle was still parked, her husband’s already gone.
Our neighbors to the right are grandparents and their only daughter and grandchild live on the East coast. They are so sweet to us and our children and we are lucky to have them as friends and neighbors.
I couldn’t help but stand there and envy her, not having to get up because her child had to eat breakfast or get off to school or have a diaper changed. I wondered if she was still in her robe, enjoying her coffee while reading a book as she sunk into her cushy reading chair, her feet resting comfortably on an ottoman.
Maybe she had a relaxing day of yoga and a nice long uninterrupted shower (bliss!) and coffee with a friend and more reading planned. I smiled to myself as I thought if it all.
But then I thought, what if as she looks into my garage and sees me buckling kids in for the fourth time that day and hears their laughs and notices their sweet faces and sort of envies me?
What if she thinks about my day of feeding kids and taking them for a walk in the wagon and to a play date and home from school and kinda wishes for those days back?
Does she see us and long for the days when her daughter was little? Does she wish that she could hit rewind and do some things differently or over again? Maybe she even wishes she’d had more than one child. Perhaps she wonders how life moved so, so fast…
I try to remember these things when I get caught up in the crazy, busy days that are my life right now. When Little G is whining incessantly and The B Man is giving me attitude and Baby K is hollering for something that I cannot discern. When the laundry is piled up and there are more dishes to do, I try to remind myself this will NOT last forever and that maybe, just maybe, a long day by myself is somewhere over the horizon.
But then, will I even want that someday? Sure, maybe for a while but then I can imagine it getting pretty lonely as well.
And often times we simply want what we cannot/do not have. Curly hair instead of straight. Flat butt instead of curvy one. Alone time instead of someone constantly needing us. It’s human nature I think, to want what we don’t have because we don’t KNOW. I have no idea what it would be like to be so tall that it would be hard to find pants at the store but that doesn’t mean I don’t long for longer legs. 🙂
And right now I have NO idea what it would be like to have days to myself. But it doesn’t mean that there aren’t times that I daydream about finding out…