I have a lot going on in my head these days and I can’t seem to find peace lately. Which really kind of stinks. It doesn’t help that “you-know-who” is back again this week (not sure what is going on with my body at this point) and it’s even worse than last week.
I see my house as unorganized, Little G has been extremely grumpy and clingy the last few days, and I feel like I rarely get a break or any time to myself (although as I type this, all 3 of my guys are asleep). I feel unmotivated in many ways.
I did however, apply lip gloss to my lips for the first time today in probably weeks, on my way to church. How can it be that my life is so crazy busy that I don’t even have time for full completion of the makeup process anymore? That’s just not right. See, when I was still working and pregnant with Little G, I shared a cube with the nicest lady who became a friend of mine. Her makeup was always perfect, including her lips. Mine, not so much. But, she didn’t have any children at the time. She always wanted them but it was never the right time. I know she would have traded perfect lips for a child and day of the week. And I know I need to be thankful for my beautiful family but sometimes it’s so hard when you feel like you are losing yourself in the process.
On the positive side I have been working out, which is a great thing to do for myself. I have a wonderful husband who is willing to help where he can, but it’s so hard when the boys want only me and a lot of time that is the case. Do you remember those rubbery toys that were characters with really long, stretchy arms and legs? Sometimes that is what I feel like, being pulled in all directions and stretched to my limits.
I KNOW I am not the only mother or father for that matter, that feels this way. I know there are peaks and valleys in anything we do in life. I guess I am just kinda hangin’ out in the valley right now, looking at the mountains I have to climb.
OH and to add to my woes. I lost my keys on Wednesday and still have not found them. We figure they have to be somewhere in the house because I remember the last time I used them was that afternoon but they don’t seem to respond very well to “here keys keys, here keys keys, where are you?” I have never wanted an inanimate object to sprout legs (and ears) more than now.
Another positive – I am currently doing a bible study with the moms from a playgroup I am in (Natalie is leading us) and it’s called “Guilt-free Motherhood.” I read a lot of it tonight since I had some catching up to do (!) and I think it’s going to be really good. One of the main goals of the study is to help you have a scripture based “blueprint” for parenting and to be a more proactive mother than a reactive one. I hope and pray that it helps ’cause golly it sure sounds good.
Also positive, we spent some fun family time together at the local pool today. I failed to grab the camera on our way out but rest assured that we all had fun in the water. And last night Tim made some rockin’ fajitas on the grill. Oh they were so good. Just as my life is, even if it does get overwhelming sometimes, I know it’s really good and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Now if I could just get on top of one of those peaks…
Maybe I will just stand on top of the laundry pile. That should certainly do the trick! ; -)