Last night Tim walked into the living room from the kitchen and he asked me if I was starting to feel like this was home.
I broke down.
The answer was “No.”
Yes, this new-to-us house has all of our things in it. Yes, my three boys are here and my girl kicks enthusiastically in my belly. But at this point, that is all.
I had my first appointment at my new OB/GYN on Wednesday. On the paperwork they wanted to know my “emergency contact” and when the girl behind the sliding window asked me if I could provide a local contact (other than my husband) I had to respond “No.”
Yesterday, when I went for my second handful of chocolate covered raisins from the massive jar I bought at Costco before we left our old home I thought about how the answer to the question, “Is there a Costco in Lafayette?” is “No.”
As I watched my5 year old son throw yet another fit yesterday about basically nothing and contemplated some of the other issues he’s had this week while everything has been going on with the move, I thought to myself “Is he adjusting well so far?” And the answer is once again… “No.”
I know time will change these things and I know it will get better but in the last couple of days, well, it certainly hasn’t felt like it.
Last week I left my comfort zone. My really cozy, broken-in for years, cushy comfort zone.
I admit, I want immediate results. I want things to be as easy and free as they used to be. I want to not lose it at the thought that my only friend in town starts his new job on Monday and leaves me here, in this house that I cannot really call home yet.
So yes, even though I plan to “bloom” here, right now, today, my heart aches for “home…”
P.S. As you can see things are kinda “under construction” here at the blog (as if my life needed more change, right?) Bare with me as I get everything set up with a little (I mean A LOTTA!) help from my friends…