My Kids Crack Me Up

The other night we were talking to The B Man about how we need to get him a new mattress. I won’t EVEN tell you how old the one he has been sleeping on happens to be thesameoneIsleptonasakid.

He was all gung-ho about the idea and after I laid down on his bed I was all like, “Oh my GAWD, how have you how did I slept on this for so long?  Anyway, as we were discussing it he pipes up and says, “Mom, I think I need a Temper Pedic mattress! I need to find out if it really IS the best selling mattress in America!!”

Yeah, um… I don’t think so kiddo.  And also?  No more Disney Channel for YOU! (what is WITH the commercials on there!?!?!)

(btw, new mattress has been purchased, in case you were worried about my almost eight-year old’s sleep and back.  Because I was…)

Last Friday evening we went to the mall after we had dinner out as a family.  Before we could do anything else, we had to put some of my wallet change into the fountain that resides in the middle of this town’s quaint indoor shopping experience.  The kids probably threw $1.05 in there when it was all said and done, and after the two smaller children both attempted head dives into the change-laden germ infested waters.

Thankfully those type of incidents were averted and so we popped into Build A Bear.  OHMYGAWDWHY and as we were leaving couldn’t get out fast enough I realized that K had a “Chippette” in her hand (stuffed chipmunk from the Chipmunk movies).  Thinking it was best that I curb her klepto tendencies now, I made her take it back in the store.

As I was carrying her back out I asked her “Where’s your money?” like we always ask the boys when they want to buy something, and she promptly answered: “In the FOUNTAIN!!”

Touche my little apprentice, touche.

I don’t really have a funny story about anything that Little G said but if you would like to laugh just pretend to be like him and take any sentence you can come up with, and I mean ANY sentence at all, and just replace a few of the regular words with “poop” or “fart” or “butt” and tell me you don’t crack up.

I dare you.


parenting BY dummies


  1. Ok, first off this post had me cracking-up, with all the words striked-out. Second, I can beat ya with the bed: (I can’t believe I’m going to admit this publicly) my son sleeps on the same bed my parents had when they were in college. We’re talking early 60s. It’s the hand-me-down bed – parents had it, I had it, now Max has it. It’s surprisingly comfortable. And I try really hard not to think about the fact that I was likely conceived in that bed…sigh…

  2. Hey Girl back at you! Nice to see you too. I know I have been by since I started blogging again, but you might not have noticed. :)

    I’m good to answer your question.

    On to your post. That conversation over the type of mattress to get cracked me up. But don’t feel bad about the B mans mattress being super old. They barely weigh anything so the way it feels to them isn’t the same as it would be to you (not that I’m saying you weigh a ton or

  3. what is it about boys anyway? I swear, my boys ALL crack themselves up by either saying the word “fart” or by farting on one another. LOL

  4. They are adorable. I love when they crack themselves up.

  5. LOL. That is too funny.

  6. One things that you can always count on kids for is a good laugh.

  7. Hahahaha!

    Your kiddos are beautiful! What a great picture.

  8. Ha! Laughed at K’s response. The “Duh, Mommy” was implied, right?

  9. Hilarious! Kids are a great source of entertainment, aren’t they? Especially when you mention poop or fart or butt… 😉

  10. Ha ha! They definitely keep up on our toes. Your kids are adorable – great pic 😉

  11. JDaniel would want to hop in and get the money back too.

  12. This is a great poop Elaine. I’m so glad I farted by to read it.

    You’re right. That is pretty funny.

  13. I took my kids on a field trip at the beginning of the year and I overheard an upper grader telling my #5 to jump in the pond and get him some money. I can’t believe how grown up baby girl is now.

  14. Kids are hilarious. I love that photo.

  15. What is with the body humor?? My kids do it too and, while I admit I do laugh, sometimes it’s just annoying! And gross. 😉

  16. I love how infatuated kids are with their bodies and the stuff the body does. Yuck. I don’t even think I liked body humor when I was little. But I was always sorta stuck up. 😉

  17. Hee! Absolutely adorable little stinkers, for sure! :)