You know you’ve gone off the reservation when you are looking for stuff to “Instagram”. When did it become a verb? “Instagramming” will be in dictionaries when our grand kids are old enough to read -how much you wanna bet?
Anyway, I have found myself doing this a lot lately. Not waiting for the moment to take a picture but seeking it out. This clearly makes me certifiable, yes? Someone tell me I am not the only one with this affliction. The NEED to put something out there and have people LIKE it. It’s true, I have this problem.
It comes in many forms. Comments here on the blog. “Likes” on my posts on FB (in TWO places mind, you, on my own personal wall and on my blog FB page) and likes on Instagram. And even comments on my posts on FB.
I have found myself sitting in front of the screen of my computer wondering what I can post to get the attention of those around me. I am saying right now, this does not feel healthy. But then, what addiction is? Because that is what it feels like, an addiction.
It’s like I cannot go too long without a “fix” of Likes. And if I go days without them I get the shakes (okay, not really but you know what I mean). Because with each one that comes in, I get a little “high”, a boost in self worth? A boost in something. Validation that I have come to know and love.
But then. BUT THEN. What happens if I put something out there and it is not that well received? Well then in my mind I did not measure up. People did not “Like” it OBVIOUSLY because they did not click on some little button that tells me that they do!! OhDearLordWasItReallyNotThatGood?
And then I have to ask myself, when did it come to this? How did I get here? Well, by gosh, the darn internet has put the evil in me! Or at least it feels that way.
Of course we all want people to Like us. We want people to think the things we do are well done or good or worthy of their compliments. We just DO. That is simply human nature.
But when did we start LOOKING for that? When did we start thinking that we could not do without it? When did it become a NEED instead of something that could just happen, on the fly or even occasionally?
Can’t I just get that “high” from someone saying my hair looks good today or that is a good color on me? Or that I look sexy in my bathing suit (you know who you are)? Can’t that “LIKE”, after it is said in such a REAL way, just float off into the air and be a beautiful rainbow above my head instead of some small black word (or words) replacing it and looking back at me from a computer or phone screen while holding so much meaning in my life?
I think it can.
Wait. I know it can.
I am going to start collecting my rainbow of real, spoken words today. And I plan to start giving them more freely as well.
Sure, I will still “Like” your photo on Instagram or FB or your post or your comment, when I see them, which may be less often.
However, I am also going to remember to Like those things right before me such as my friend’s beautiful necklace or G’s latest piece of art or my husband’s whispered “I Love You.” Those things are tangible, real and and truly do mean more than any four-letter word that I seem to think of as validation.
Of course I have the need to be appreciated and “liked” just as much as the next gal.
And I do have to admit, that comments like these are part of the reason it’s hard to step away from the “likes” because, well they make me feel really good.
Honestly, I’m not sure how to end this post except to say that I am trying to be more present in all things in my life that are close and not just at the touch of a keyboard or phone screen away…
I would venture to guess that many of you understand. Thanks for “listening” and “liking”…