I’ve been “single parenting” a bit lately and even though Tim has not been around very much for dinner, I’m still making the same amount of food for our family in the evenings. This means the fridge is full of leftovers.
When he does return home to sleep for a few hours, he’s spent. The work he’s been doing lately is extremely taxing and stressful. So when he is here what I get from him (if I’m still awake) is something akin to “leftovers” as well. And I don’t say that to make him feel bad, it’s just the truth. He works really hard to begin with. But especially lately.
And the kids and I are together a lot, just the 3 of us or 4 of us, if The B Man is not in school. My job is full of stress sometimes as well but of course it’s just a different kind. I have deadlines too, but they’re of the “get to soccer practice on time” and “get the homework helping done” variety. I have 3 little people constantly counting on me for something.
And today, they got a bit of my leftovers. I finally broke down from the “single parenting” this evening (and as an aside, my hat is WAY off to those who are ACTUAL single parents because O.M.G. I’ve just had a tiny taste and WOW).
Anyway… I was putting K to bed and we were rocking in the dark and she sat up and accidentally slammed her hard noggin into my lip.
I immediately started to cry. I mean BAWL.
And she buried her head in my chest and said, “I sorry Mama.”
And so I cried harder.
I cried for the pain but mostly I cried for my heart, which tries SO very hard but some days it catches up with me. All of it just catches up.
I cried for the stress that comes from Tim working such long hours and the fact that it plants itself on all of us. I even notice it in the kids. And again, I’m not faulting him, I’m just saying… It’s HARD. For all of us.
I look forward to the day when there will be fewer leftovers. Of both the food and the emotion variety.
I hope it comes sooner than later…
And now, some (or A LOT, whatever) pretty pictures to make us ALL feel better. I know they helped me…
The local university has a toddler program on Tuesday mornings at the on-campus art museum. It is run by the early childhood education students and so cute. However, my kids were happier running outside…