The first word of this post should be Jesus, with a comma after it. So, the post should really be titled Jesus, I Trust in You. I didn’t use that title because I want people to be open to reading this and I am guessing there are many people that would not if I put the name “Jesus” first. That seems a little sad to me. It is also very interesting to me, because I know spirituality and religion are sensitive subjects.
Funnily enough this is what I am doing in my life right now – I am putting Jesus first. Or at least WAY near the beginning, much more so than He used to be (I do have three kids after all). I’m not writing this to boast about how much more I am praying now or brag about being some wonderfully religious person. I’m writing it to document and remind myself how important He is in my life, now and always. Religion isn’t only a sensitive topic, it is also an extremely personal one. Everyone who does believe and practice some form of religion, has their own relationship with God and what they believe, and how they go about incorporating those beliefs into their daily lives.
I am what many call a “cradle Catholic”, meaning I was baptized into the religion as a baby and raised in the Catholic Church. I was raised with the beliefs that you went to church every Sunday (and really early on holidays or if you were with my paternal grandmother), completed your sacraments and prayed the rosary. We prayed before meals and recited the “Our Father” (The Lord’s Prayer) at bedtime. I would guess 85% of the weddings I have attended in my life have been a Catholic mass. I have questioned and bucked the system in my life. I am sinner, just like everyone else. Thankfully though, I am forgiven. Does this mean I should go around sinning? Nope, it simply means I am human and I will sin, but even though, God knows I will and for that reason he died and rose for us.
One thing I did not realize, while growing up in the church, was how hard I could lean on God. I knew he was “there” for me and that I could pray any time and any way, yet I didn’t necessarily take the time or have the patience to do so. I used to picture him as the classic Jesus, in a white robe, high in the blue sky, flanked by two amazingly beautiful white clouds, his arms open wide. I was aware he knew my inner thoughts and feelings. I have always felt his presence in my life through prayer and my church community.
However, it wasn’t until the last couple of years that I started to look for the signs of Him in my life and really want to KNOW him personally, for ME. And I mean REALLY look. REALLY pray. REALLY ask for his intercession and help. And the signs and feelings are not just there. People have to be open to recognizing them. We must be open to feeling his presence and receiving these gifts. And I will say that it has probably only been about 6-9 months that I have truly been able to see and feel them in my life. Possibly because I have been invoking his aid much more often and with more fervor than ever before.
One of the signs that recently (as early as this past weekend) and continuously keeps coming up in my life, includes the words I typed in bold at the top of this post. Without going into a ton of detail, just know that there is quite a bit of background to them. There is a saint (Faustina) and a prayer and an image all around that one particular, little phrase.
To me, the most important word in those five is “trust”. Like I said, I am leaning hard on Him these days and a huge part of my faith is trusting that things will work out as they are supposed to and that He has “got this.” Do I need to do my due diligence and make good decisions and give Him some help? Oh yeah, I do! However, there is also so much comfort in knowing that if I believe in Him and his promises and live by His word, things will be alright.
Music is always a source of comfort for me as well and so I feel like this song is a good one to listen to, reminding us to just trust and to know that His love for us shall NEVER fail.