I Couldn’t See…

We’ve been walking around the neighborhood almost every night with the kids in the last few weeks. Most of the time The B Man rides his too little for him “Thomas” bike while the baby and Little G go in the wagon. Some nights B doesn’t want to ride so in that case he and G go in the bike trailer, which also functions as a ‘stroller’, and baby goes in the regular stroller.

Tonight Tim was late getting home from work so I took the kids by myself, which meant that B HAD to ride his bike and I had to pull the two littles in the wagon. Oh yeah, that’s yet ANOTHER way they ride (not comfortable with G and K riding together next to each other in bike trailer yet…).

So anywho… Obviously B can go faster on his bike than I can walking and pulling close to 50 pounds in the wagon (G is weighing in at 31.8 and K at almost 17). He has a tendency to get TOO far ahead and tonight it was WAY too far. I could barely see him and we were coming up to the end of the residential street that then goes out onto a VERY busy street where the speed limit is 45mph and well frankly, it scares the ever lovin’ c.r.a.p outta me.

Now before I go any further with this story, know that we have a little “routine” on these walks. The sidewalk he rides on does “dead end” before the busy street and B knows to stop there and turn around.

However. Tonight there was a family out in their yard and the mother could see B better than I could (I was a good 400-500 ft behind him) and she started running after him but he kept going. I panicked because I thought maybe something had happened where he couldn’t control his bike and since she had a better view than me I just wasn’t sure what was going on. I dropped the wagon handle (on the right-hand sidewalk, other kids were fine) and started running and yelling his name. And he STILL kept going.

In that moment. THAT moment, I truly felt THE MOST helpless that I’ve EVER felt as a parent. If he were headed to that busy street, I couldn’t get there in time to stop him. I don’t think the other woman could have either. And not only helpless but THE most petrified too.

And then? He stopped, right at the end of the sidewalk, like he ALWAYS does.

She didn’t know our routine.

I couldn’t see.

It was scary.

Once it was all over we both cried (him more so than me). He thought he was “in trouble” but I tried my best to explain that the other lady didn’t know and I couldn’t see. I wanted him to know that he did nothing wrong except just go too far ahead.

He’ll be staying closer to me now.

How will I ever be able to let him leave home?

I have no idea…



  1. OH how scary!! I would have been terrified – and afraid that the woman chasing him would scare him to keep going {but who can blame her for not knowing and trying to do what’s right}
    My heart is racing just thinking about what you went through…..

  2. Oh Elaine, my heart was beating a mile a minute! You know the thing I have learned, and it’s the hardest thing let me tell you, is that we have to trust them a little bit. Because they are more responsible than we think!

    I am so glad he did exactly as he knew best because you know what that means, you done good girl!

  3. Oh that is scary! Poor you. The fact that he stopped because he knew the routine shows that he’s being responsible, which is great. You’ll learn to let him do things on his own, and he’ll be fine. So tough though!

  4. How scary. I have been through something similar with Hayden. Letting go is just so hard.

  5. UGH! I was scared reading it! You always think that they will continue their rituals…but then that doubt comes to mind. So I can imagine the way you felt!

  6. How scary!! I have been there with Connor! It is so terrifying. But at least you know that he knows to STOP at the end of the sidewalk! Sorry you had to experience that moment.

  7. Um, I cried reading this. Because I have felt that absolute terror before, and it is the worst feeling on the planet Earth. I am SO glad he is okay and that he knew to stop. Man. We can ever ever be too careful. I think I’ll worry for the rest of my life. Sorry you had this experience… so glad everything and everyone is okay, though. HUGS.

  8. HOW SCARY!!!! I have had the EXACT same thing happen, exact Sam was merely 2.5 yr old, was riding a tricycle and he zipped down a hill too quickly and INTO the street. I about had a heart attack. Luckily, it was during the day and it was our neighborhood and it was a side street that is not a MAIN street, but like you, my heart literally jumped into my throat. Ugh.

  9. OMGosh. I just got chills up and down my arms. I feared for you as I was reading it. I hate that feeling, so helpless. Good for B that he has his routine down.

  10. I cried reading this. That kind of fear is just the most intense terrible thing ever.

    I’m so glad everything turned out ok though….how will we ever let them leave home?

    It’s really a very overwhelming thought.

  11. that is so scary. so freakin’ scary! Glad it all turned out ok…

  12. I’m pretty sure that is the worst feeling. Ever. I am so sorry that this happened–and so relieved that everyone was okay!


  13. How terrifying for both of you! You because you thought something was wrong, and him because he was wondering why a lady was chasing him.

    I’m so glad he knew what to do.

  14. Awww. This post almost made me cry. It is so scary. And thinking about sending our precious littles out into the world. SCARY.

    So glad it all turned out so well. :)

  15. Oh, Elaine. That’s so scary!

    Glad all was fine in the end. xoxo

  16. oh my gosh! I would’ve totally freaked out, too. so relieved nothing bad had happened to him. whew!

  17. Oh how scary….its always good to have 2 sets of eyes, even if it’s a false alarm.

    Poor B-man!