Comments on The Miss Elaine-ous Life: Perhaps I Jinxed it

Hey Elaine- So, I have to know how this all turned...

2009-12-14T12:01:52.868-06:00

Hey Elaine-
So, I have to know how this all turned out. I am assuming that you have gone to formula now. Maddie was tongue-tied. I got very lucky and the ped. noticed it at her hospital check up and snipped it that day. She still would not latch properly for nearly a month but managed to eventually get it. Let me know how it all turned out. Gotta love Baby G- he just looks like a nursin' baby boy- sweet little face. Baby K is so beautiful! -Jennifer FlemB

If I had a time machine, I would go back to March ...

2009-11-14T18:56:39.763-06:00

If I had a time machine, I would go back to March 2000 and redo my son's first month of his life. I tried so hard to nurse him but he just wouldn't take to it. There were many tears (both his and mine) and I really think it had an effect on our relationship. I really wish I had just embraced the bottle feeding earlier. It would have saved me a lot of heartache and stress. Just do what is easiest for you and K and don't feel guilty about it. Everything will be fine.

Hang in there! I know it's tough! I struggled ...

2009-11-14T15:46:09.034-06:00

Hang in there! I know it's tough! I struggled with both of mine, but once they get it it is sooooo rewarding. Keep pumping...go see a lactation consultant. I don't know if I'd try the chiropracter (they scare me) but FOR SURE find a lactation consultant. Go to the La Leche League website..look for meetings. Good Luck!!

Elaine, I'm sure I've told you before tha...

2009-11-12T19:40:38.141-06:00

Elaine,

I'm sure I've told you before that BF'ing didn't work out for us, either. The girls just couldn't seem to get it and I was so sore I was bleeding and required medication to help me heal. I ended up pumpking exclusively for about 3 months. They have turned out fine. I am always jealous of people who are able to bf'd. I had excellent help while we were in the hospital, but it just wasn't meant to be.

Do not beat yourself up. I'm sure it's hard since you bf'd your other children and so you're comparing...but all ids are different. It just may be out of your hands.

You are a wonderful mother. It has nothing to do with breastfeeding and everything to do with your heart and the person you are.

Try to let go a little bit and not stress about it. She will still be perfect no matter what way she eats.

You are so blessed to have so many caring friends!...

2009-11-11T20:16:15.204-06:00

You are so blessed to have so many caring friends! I read all of their posts before I wrote this one, and now I will throw in my two cents: I agree that you have done the best you can for K by even giving her this much of your own milk. When DanDan was in the NICU the lactation consultant was the sweetest, most consoling person. She, too, said to be proud of every drop you have made--every drop is a victory!--and if you can keep pumping one more hour, one more day, one more week, keep going. However, when the time comes to let it go, don't lament that you have not done "enough", rejoice in how much you have DONE.

As women, we should all realize that bonding doesn't happen only at the breast during the first moments of life. If that were true, then dads would have no relationship with their children. Bonding is for the whole of life. Our bonds with our children, our spouses, family, and friends can grow weaker or stronger with time. It is up to each individual to preserve and strengthen the relationships that matter most. We work at our marriages, we teach and discipline our children, we hug our friends and tell them when their butts look too big in those pants. The point is, as so many of your friends said, this, too, shall pass. When she is walking into the church with her second grade class for her First Holy Communion will you even remember the trials and tribulations of the previous six years? She will be so beautiful as she goes to meet God that all you can think about is how blessed you are to have such a beautiful, perfect child; how did God ever think you were so worthy?

Peace, sister. You are beloved of many and have done awesome things for all your children (and family (esp SIL's) and friends). May the Good Lord bring you peace as you do whatever is best for your precious baby girl.

Love,
SIL

it's an age old dilemma and it's never eas...

2009-11-11T16:12:15.323-06:00

it's an age old dilemma and it's never easy - hugs to you.

for what's it's worth - chiropractors are GREAT!!!

either way she will be fine and so will you.... b...

2009-11-11T14:57:42.989-06:00

either way she will be fine and so will you.... but i understand your desire to nurse her and for it to be a happy time.

James was having trouble on nursing on one side and we had our chiropractor adjust him and it fixed the problem. it also fixed ALL of his reflux issues that the pediatrician was wanting to put him on medication for! i would just say that you need to find one that practices applied kinesiology and that comes with high recommendations.

love you and she is a doll!!!

I am sorry Elaine. I really struggled with BF too....

2009-11-11T14:11:33.791-06:00

I am sorry Elaine. I really struggled with BF too. It was a constant battle with my girls and I. I pumped for a long time. I hope it all works out for you. Keeping you in my thoughts.

I so struggle with breast feeding too. I never rea...

2009-11-11T13:58:30.604-06:00

I so struggle with breast feeding too. I never really got it down. Try as many things are you need but in the end just do what you need to do.

So, I know that you may not know me, but I couldn&...

2009-11-11T13:05:02.415-06:00

So, I know that you may not know me, but I couldn't help but comment here. This is an issue that is so close to my heart... As I read your post, I feel your pain... We are so hard on ourselves as moms. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, you have done a beautiful thing for your daughter and any bit of nursing is so great. It is tough work and no one really prepares you for it being so difficult.

The only suggestion that I would have would be to see a lactation consultant - When my son was 7 weeks I was at my wits end and cried everytime he nursed because it hurt so much. I remembered the lactation consultant and went in basically with the attitude that "If you can't help me, I am DONE..." It was the BEST decision I could have ever made. She was amazing in helping me and my baby. I then was able to nurse him for well over a year. My other son was a natural, so there doesn't seem to be rhyme or reason to it. Chiropractor may work too.. who knows.

I so much empathy for you! Just know that WHATEVER you decide, you have done a beautiful thing for your baby already!

Oh, sweetie. Please don't be upset. A good fr...

2009-11-11T10:02:53.710-06:00

Oh, sweetie. Please don't be upset.

A good friend of mine has a daughter that refused to breastfeed, so she pumped for eight months.

You just do whatever works.

xoxo

It;s such a hard thing isn't it? So much we ar...

2009-11-10T23:16:05.175-06:00

It;s such a hard thing isn't it? So much we are told to nurse, nurse, nurse that if it doesn't work out, can't be done or you just choose not to, you feel HORRIBLE guilt.
It really wasn't that long ago that women weren't nursing (maybe 12 years ago?).
I'm not saying that nursing isn't a wonderful thing, but please don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work out. I was never able to nurse any of my children. I tried with some, and by the time i had my twins, i just decided I didn't want to feel so guilty anymore.

You have genuinely tried and you should be absolutely proud of yourself.
You're a wonderful mama with a beautiful & healthy baby :)

She's perfect. It's truly fine. It can s...

2009-11-10T19:18:56.946-06:00

She's perfect. It's truly fine. It can still be sad. Huge hugs.

You're right, you and she will both be fine, n...

2009-11-10T15:18:10.767-06:00

You're right, you and she will both be fine, no matter what. I remember when Nadia was this age and I was facing the same decision. It was tearing me up. It felt SO critical and important and huge. Now looking back, I realize I let myself stress over it way too much. Believe me, I know how devestating it feels - but in the whole scheme of things, it's a small thing. She'll be healthy either way. And adorable, but that's a given!

Claire had big issues too. I thought that there wa...

2009-11-10T14:14:16.287-06:00

Claire had big issues too. I thought that there was NO WAY I could even make it to 6mths (my goal), because there were about 8wks of just awfulness. But we made it through to 1 year and it got a lot better :) But really, I do believe that you have to do what is best for the whole family. Hang in there, but don't feel bad if you need to stop :)

I'm sorry you have to deal with this :( Keep d...

2009-11-10T12:56:00.495-06:00

I'm sorry you have to deal with this :(
Keep doing the best you can---God gave you baby k for a reason. If she isn't meant to nurse, it really won't matter 10 or even 5 years from now. Look at this as an excuse to find more cuddle time with her since she is not nursing :)

Sorry it's not going the way you want. But yo...

2009-11-10T12:14:14.092-06:00

Sorry it's not going the way you want. But you're a great mommy and youre doing the best you can. Didn't breatsfeed either of my rugrats and I don't honestly think it altered the amazing bodn we formed.

Hallie :)

It WILL be OK! Promise! Think of it this way: Can ...

2009-11-10T11:52:56.146-06:00

It WILL be OK! Promise! Think of it this way: Can you name five Presidents who were breastfed? Just sayin' that at the end of the day, breastfeeding is important, but it doesn't determine how our lives will go. Just keep on doing the best you can.

Aw Elaine, I am sorry it's not working out how...

2009-11-10T11:46:12.592-06:00

Aw Elaine, I am sorry it's not working out how you wanted but at the same time, no guilt! She is perfect. Just perfect no matter how she gets it.

Hugs to you my friend!

oh I am so sorry!!!! I know how hard this must be ...

2009-11-10T11:35:00.300-06:00

oh I am so sorry!!!! I know how hard this must be for you... just know whatever you do... she will LOVE you! :)

and I would try the chiropractor, the girls wouldn't nurse when they were born and my chiro came to the hospital and adjusted them and they started eating right away. She said the accident had "knocked" their alignment out. I would give it a shot!

hugs!

brittany

I sooooooooooo feel your pain!!!!! I totally reme...

2009-11-10T09:42:23.751-06:00

I sooooooooooo feel your pain!!!!! I totally remember the last time I attempted to nurse Zach. I was sitting on the floor and trying to make it work and the tears just flowed. The "I cried Hard" comment took me right back to that moment. I won't even begin to tell you to not stress, you will anyway. I won't tell you not to be sad, it comes with the territory. Just know that you are getting virtual hugs and high-fives for doing all you can for that beautiful baby girl. The choice to move on won't ever be an easy one, but it is nice to have closure when you choose to do that. I had heard to set a date and work toward that goal. I did that with pumping. I could do it for 3 months, and at that point I re-evaluated to 4 months. I made it to 6 months and decided to be done. Honestly you are the best mommy ever!!!! She'll love you no matter what. And the tears, they'll come for some reason or another, it's just part of the wonderful job of mommyhood! :) ~~Hugs~~

I am a crazy hippie, but I had Tommy adjusted at m...

2009-11-10T09:25:13.715-06:00

I am a crazy hippie, but I had Tommy adjusted at my chiropractor after he was born. There really are things they can do to help a baby, so it's worth a try.
But keep in mind, that you are doing the best YOU can for her... and that's all that matters.

She is Beautiful♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

2009-11-10T09:03:38.401-06:00

She is Beautiful♥
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All will be fine. As long as she is getting breast...

2009-11-10T08:45:24.364-06:00

All will be fine.
As long as she is getting breast milk, why worry about how she is getting it.
Do what is best for you and her. Don't listen to what the books tell you. :-)

Love the picture. :) You will figure out what is...

2009-11-10T08:08:24.112-06:00

Love the picture. :)

You will figure out what is right for you and your family. It took me until kid #5 to nurse successfully and with complete dedication. I beat myself up with my first when nursing was not going well for either one of us, and made myself miserable. It wasn't worth it. I hope you arrive at a peaceful decision soon. You're a great Mommy, no matter what!