Yesterday morning we all over-slept a little.
The B Man (who really needs some time to play in the mornings before school) only had 25 minutes to eat breakfast, get dressed and get ready to go. Not good.
Little G was ALL outta sorts because I was in a huge hurry (didn’t pack lunch the night before like I usually do…) and I didn’t let him do something for himself. Let the waterworks commence.
I felt exhausted and a little dizzy too, after lifting myself too hurriedly from the bed.
Thankfully Tim had a later dentist appointment that morning and said he could stay with G while I drove B to school. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s just easier to take him without the toddler. As he bailed out of the car at drop off he shot me back a look like “It’s Monday, isn’t it?” and I remembered the few days as a little girl when I myself did not want to go to school (they were few and far between though…). As I watched him walk away with his ‘almost bigger than me’ backpack I kinda wanted to stop, roll down the window and honk at him to come back. But of course I didn’t. And he went on his merry way to his classroom.
When I got back home I had just enough time to inhale a bowl of cereal, prepare G’s lunch, get him dressed and ready and brush my own hair and get him to MDO. I could tell as I was strapping him into his car seat that he was not keen on going to school either. While I drove he blabbered on behind me about going to the playground and eating lunch and changing his diapers and playing blocks and I tried to positively reinforce that yes, all those things would happen while he was at “school” today.
I knew his drop off would be a little hairy so I had already resigned myself to ‘hanging out’ with him for a little bit in the room. We opened up a big bin of blocks and started to build a tower together and then I told him it was time for Mommy to go. He started to fuss and then looked up at me with tears in his big gray eyes and said, “Mommy, will you come back for me?”
It was at that moment that my heart crumbled into a kazillion little pieces and I wanted to scoop him up and go back and pick up his brother too and return home with them and sit on the sofa with one on each side of me and just ‘be.’
But alas, I did not and they were fine and I had errands and grocery shopping and stuff I needed to do.
Part of me still wishes I could have done that yesterday though.
Part of me wishes they were still tiny and that I could go back to the days before all the morning hustle and bustle.
I’m doing a lot of wishing lately…