Towards the end of last year I discovered the song “Brand New” by Ben Rector. The kids and I sang and danced to it over and over around the house, and every time we listened we smiled and had the best time. You might say we wore it out. The video is so great because Ben takes some of his fans with him to Six Flags Over Texas (woot!) just to ride roller coasters – to have an old fashioned good time. It doesn’t hurt that this is also one of my favorite things to do. I do love me a good roller coaster! The words of the song, coupled with the video exude so much joy. And JOY is good. So, so good.
This year is new and clean slate-ish for me. For anyone wondering, no, thanks to the great state of Louisiana, my divorce is not yet final. It should be soon though. I may plan on calling that my own personal “new year’s day”. I mean, why not? Sure it’s just paperwork and signatures, however it will also mean I am “free” in a way. There is still a little baggage from that half-of-my-life relationship, and there probably always will always be some, but there is also life and beauty and needed realizations. The main part of that life are my three children. They are the reason I regret nothing. They are the main reason moving on is easier.
When I think of the term “brand new” I picture a shiny car right off the lot, a pair of bright white, unscuffed shoes or a notebook full of empty pages. I think of something that has yet to be touched or hindered in any way. No marks, no scratches… the packaging may still be on.
Funnily enough, that is not me at all. I’m full of scuffs and scratches. Scars even. There is mileage on this body, that’s for sure! But now is the perfect time for me to choose to let go of the experiences that marked me, or at least to learn to leave them were they belong – in the past.
I used to really care about what others thought of me. This last year has taught me not to go down that road anymore. People are going to think what they are going to think. There is nothing I can do about that. The only thing I have control over is myself. I won’t lie and say there are not still times I do not think about it, however I try to quickly realize they are not living MY life or walking in my shoes. Because of that, what they think really does not matter.
So yes, I’m starting with a new slate. I have a new job and I’ve outlined my goals for the year (okay fine, only in my head so far, not on paper). I’m slowly cleaning out this house and getting rid of things I do not need or the kids do not need or play with. Most importantly, I am starting with a fresh perspective. A “brand new” one, if you will. That is what new years are for after all, right?
Here’s to feeling brand new and starting over. I’m pretty sure it’s going to be an amazing year…
“Like when I close my eyes and don’t even care if anyone sees me dancing
Like I can fly, and don’t even think of touching the ground
Like a heartbeat skip, like an open page
Like a one way trip on an aeroplane
It’s the way that I feel when I’m with you, brand new