“I miss you… will you be my Valentine?”
Tim sent me these words on Wednesday of this week, via text, as he waited in an airport far away to board a plane and come home to me, to us.
I am not completely sure what about them made me begin to cry almost instantly after I read them. Perhaps it was because I missed him so much too. Or maybe the real heart of the matter was simply this…
After almost fourteen and half years of marriage and practically two decades together, those kinds of words are really all I need for Valentine’s Day. Or any other day for that matter. I do not need some grand gesture (not to say that they aren’t nice occasionally…) for proof that he loves me. And maybe it was also the realization that I had in that moment, that not everyone gets this. Not everyone has the opportunity to experience a love that takes over their heart and brings them to their knees. Not everyone gets the chance to be loved by someone even though they know all their faults and “kinks” and missteps.
So many do not get the chance to snuggle in close to someone whose scent they would know anywhere and whose voices strikes a chord in their heart every time it is heard. There are people who will never know what it is like to FEEL the electricity that pulses through you when you look into each other’s eyes with full understanding or when you laugh at the same joke in a movie and wink to each other.
Perhaps they will never have anyone’s face memorized as to know their every freckle and mole. And they may never know what it is like to wish for just even one more day to be able to hold that love of their life for just one. more. day.
I feel truly blessed that I found someone who “gets” me and who I can share my life with so fully. LOVE is not an easy thing. It’s complicated and messy and really, almost stupidly hard sometimes. We tend to get in our own way when it comes to matters of the heart, I think. Is Tim my “soul mate”? I don’t know. I do feel like he is the person I was meant to be with but my true soul mate could be someone that I would never have the opportunity to meet, living half way around the world. Who knows?
I think of that movie Serendipity. Two people with a chance meeting and nothing to go on after they part ways except an old book with a phone number and a name written hastily inside. In the story they are meant to be together because we love a happy ending (as a society) and because, well, they really kind of go out of their way to get back to each other, including breaking up their other relationships. I think it’s sweet, I do. But serendipitous? I am not so sure.
If either Tim or I had made a decision not to be at the place where we both were on the day we met our story could be much different. Just ONE choice could have changed our entire adult existence. That is pretty crazy to think about, now isn’t it?
But I am so thankful he was there and I was too. And I thank God every day for the fact that we found each other and that our love is one that I cherish every day because I know not everyone has what we have. And oh how I wish they could…