The Miss Elaine-ous Life

random acts of life, family and photos

Stormy

by

We could see the ominous clouds rolling in from across the lake but there was still sun over our so-small corner of the world.

The kids continued to swim for a bit as the winds shifted and the shapes in the sky quickly changed each time I looked away and then back again.

The air was now different and less “summery”.

The fire already lit for s’mores, we made our way to the back, our mouths watering for the combined flavors of puffy marshmallow, melting chocolate and crunchy graham.

We made it just in time to enjoy a few of our special treats and chat by the flames before the first drops fell to cool our sun-kissed skin.

My last, huge marshmallow caught fire and I blew it out laughing as I puckered my lips, trying to soak in every moment, sticky fingers and all.

I couldn’t remember the last time I made s’mores by a real fire.

They tasted SO much better that way…

Later that night I plopped K in the bottom bunk, her temporary bed while at the cottage.  I covered her with her favorite blankie and tucked her “stuffies” all around her.

As the thunder rolled, so did her cries of exhaustion and of not wanting to miss any little thing. Two storms raging at once.  I know those feelings too, even at 38 years of age.

I calmed her with a lullaby as the falling raindrops sounded above our heads.

She slowly stopped fussing, her little cries only a whimper that soon turned into heavier breaths and then little girl snores.

My mind drifted off as she did and as I lay next to her these words came to me.

“My life goes on in endless song,
Above earth’s lamentation
I hear the real, though far-off hymn
That hails a new creation…

No storm can shake my inmost calm,
While to that rock I’m clinging
If love is Lord of heaven and earth
How can I keep from singing?”

And then I was calm too and I felt my heartbeat slow.  I LISTENED to the rain and my baby girl’s breath.  I felt her warm body next to mine, as I watched her little chest rise and fall, her still small hands, splayed across her chest.

I froze the moments in my mind. Forever.

My life does flow on in endless song but lately some things HAVE kept me from singing.

And I really think it is time to change that now…

Our time away gave me some new perspective on many things.  And for that I will always be grateful…



GFunkified

Comments

  2. Lump in my throat. Such beautiful words. And I have been feeling much the same lately.
    Gorgeous. Well done!

    And that photo is not to be believed. WOW!

  5. I love hymns. Gospel music is one of my favorites. Especially Southern gospel. Sometimes when I feel really low I’ll turn on the gospel Pandora station and let the words soothe my heart.

  9. Whoa, the storm photo! Incredible. Beautiful, beautiful post. I had a rough night with Scarlet but bedtime was just impossibly sweet tonight. I’ll remember it always, I hope.

  10. I’m happy to have read this as I wait for my kids to FINALLY go to bed, surrounded by noise noise and more noise. I need a peaceful few moments and I;m glad you had yours. 🙂

  12. I’ve been working on reclaiming gratitude and optimism in my life. I got too caught up in what I didn’t have, what wasn’t working, etc. I like myself better when I see the good.

  14. Beautiful storm picture. I love having those moments when “my heart takes a picture forever”. Best photography there is!

Stormy

by

A storm is coming.

And I find that interesting since one seems to brewing inside of me too.

I am not myself.

I got bad news about my ankle today. (surgery)

I have a kid who refuses to listen lately and hurts my heart on the daily.

But of course I love him and I know he loves me but it is still so, SO damn hard some days.

I cry a lot these days.

I am sad that I cannot run (de-stress).  For now.

I want to crawl up in my comfy bed in the fetal position and stay there.  Under the covers.

Or.

I think about buying a swim cap so I can start swimming my woes away.

Things must be different under the water, right?

I can at least see them differently down there.

I can cover up there too for a while.

Feel lighter for just a bit…

So then I think…

“sink or swim” and right now I know I have to swim.  Sinking is not an option.

But oh some days it seems like it should be…

just for a little while.

*I am fine, just having some rough days lately.  Don’t worry, just think of me or pray. xo

Comments

  2. Oh Elaine. It’s like you are in my head and heart today.

    I’ve been so down the past two days because of the toddler. The more we love them, the more they hurt us, yes? Sigh.

    Keeping you close in my thoughts. xo

  3. Ah, I’m so sorry about the surgery and the inner storm. 🙁
    On the upside, swimming (once you work your cardio up to it – for some reason it’s a whole different kind of cardio from running!) is so wonderful. I used to do it all the time, but it’s been awhile.
    ANYWAY…thinking of you. Praying for you. xo

  4. Swim! Literally and figuratively. The doing nothing is the worst.

    Quick side note: my aunt had surgery on her Achilles in the summer of 2010. In January 2011 she ran the Tinker Bell Half Marathon with me. I know it’s not the same, but with time you will be back to any de-stressing activity you choose!

    Thinking of you…

  5. 🙁 I’m sorry.
    I had to stop running for a while a couple of years back (my knee) and it actually ended up being good for me. Then when I started running again I was really into it and grateful for it. And yes, maybe swimming would be good.
    Just remember, good can come out of bad. Hang in there!

  7. My five-year old is in the not listening phase too and it is very difficult.

    Swimming is an awesome way to exercise and de-stress. Even better is to scuba (I’m an instructor). Nothing more peaceful floating along looking at the beautiful underwater world with no sounds other than your own bubbles to interrupt your thoughts.

  8. Thinking of you. I have so so many of those days too. (A lot more of them lately.) I hope that you can get the exercise you crave to rejuvenate yourself. And stay safe with that storm!! (Both outside and inside.)

  10. Just coming out of one of those months. Really stinks.

    Fingers crossed your foot heals quickly after surgery and you can get back out there.

  11. I am thinking of you – I was so sad to hear about your ankle, super bummer. And have been there done that with the kid who won’t listen. Mine seems to have grown out of it so here’s hoping this is just a blip in the radar.

    And that storm…I have been wondering if you are affected as it is heading straight for LA. Be safe my friend and get swimming – it’s killer, better than running and you will feel so good!

    xoxoxoxo

  13. I am so sorry Elaine. We’ve all been through storms and you’ll make it through this one. 🙁 I think swimming is a good alternative to running. Maybe you’d end up loving it just as much. Stay safe friend!

  15. Sorry you’ve been having a rough time. It’s hard when you can’t do the one thing that relieves stress in your life. It just makes everything seem harder when you don’t have that relief. I’ve heard wonderful things about swimming, I hope you try it and enjoy it. Hang in there we all have storms to get through.

  16. You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers. I know the surgery will help and you will recover well it is more the parenting stuff that I will be thinking of. As they grow, it changes from one thing to the next. Good or bad days, us moms always need to keep swimming. I know with your heart and all of the people that love and care about you that you will do just that. 🙂

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