I Hate That Room

This week's prompt:
Think of a room from your past.  It can be any type of room at all.
 
Take a mental picture of that room.

What happened there?  What is it like?  What is the atmosphere there?  What are the smells, the sounds, the sights?  How does it feel?


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I stood in the sterile hallway with my baby boy in my arms.  I marveled at how long his eyelashes were and felt his soft, blond hair as he lay in my arms.  Tim walked up with a half smile on his face as my mother opened the door to my Aunt's room.

It was darker in there than I thought it would be and as we stepped inside I saw her sitting up and she was smiling.  It smelled like that awful mix of ammonia and vomit and I was suddenly overcome with the sadness of it all.

She just wanted to see us and I wanted to see her, I truly did, but I could barely handle the fact that this was really it this time.  My heart wrenched in my chest since I knew this would be my last time to see her.  I held back tears.

The baby woke as Tim took him from my arms.  She commented on how big he'd gotten and asked if she could kiss him, knowing there was physically no way she could hold him.  Everyone was smiling through the uncomfortable-ness, except for me.  I'm certain I was not. I told her that of course she could and I wondered what it felt like for her to take in his scent and just be near a baby that was the closest thing she'd ever had to a grandchild.

I wanted to scream that it wasn't fair, that even after 8 years of this sh*t I knew she wanted to be done.  That she was ready.  But I still was not.  Not ready to lose her.  Or let her go.

I leaned over the bed and embraced her frail body and I know she used all the strength she could muster to hug me back.

I scanned the faces in the room - my parents, my uncle, my husband and my son, all here, in this room.  The room where she would take her last breath.  The room where we came to say goodbye.

But I didn't say it.  Instead I said "I love you and I'll see you again soon."  She was drifting off from the strong meds when I told her, but I know she heard me.

I sang at her funeral, per her request, and of course I still think of her often.  And I know my mother still misses her sister very much and I do too. I hate cancer and I will always hate that room.

"BEES!"

Mardi Gras season has begun in Louisiana which means that my living room floor will be littered with Mardi Gras beads for the next few months.  That is until they break and/or I throw them away.  Whichever comes first.

We joined some friends at the Krewe de Chienes parade on Saturday afternoon.  Chien means "dog" in French so this was a parade full of dogs and it was so fun to see all them dressed up and of course all the different breeds.  It was a bit humid out (yes already) and somewhere in the neighborhood of 78 degrees.  Perfect parade weather according to some.  NOT perfect for February, if you ask me.  I mean don't we get SOME Spring??

No matter the weather the kids had a blast (well, except when Little G freaked his freak every time he saw a mask or someone "dressed up", which happened pretty much the whole parade...) and of course they got some good "loot".

Baby K LOVES to wear her "BEES!!!" (Bees means "beads" in toddler) and even sported them at a birthday party this afternoon.  And, I now have some around my rear-view mirror in my car.  I guess we're becoming Louisianians after all.  For the time being anyway... ;-)

And, as Tim likes to say, parades are forever ruined for our children.  We may never be able to take them to a parade where they don't get tons of beads and other "throws"...  If so, there will probably be a riot (also known as "huge tantrum"). 

Linking up to Mommy & Me Monday at Krystyn's place again.... come join if you have a pic of you and your kiddos that you want to share! 

Movies for Sale...

The prompt?

We want you to imagine you've just had a fight with a friend, a co-worker, husband, significant other, child - you get the picture. You're mad. It's time for revenge.

What would you sell?

Write a humorous listing for eBay or Craig's List. Talk about the history of the items, why they must go.

Someone, who shall remain nameless, left a slew of DVDs at my house. (oh and a case of strawberry daiquiri wine coolers in which I drank WAY too many of the other night. Don’t ask what happened after.) Anyway, THAT person (also known as my “Cheating-smelling-like-another-chick-classic-lipstick-on-the-collar-not-in-my-shade-EX” ) may or may not have had crappy taste in movies. That’s for you to decide. On the bright side, it’s a fantastically varied collection; there is certainly NO denying that. $20 for the whole stinkin’ lot of ‘em, k?

Included are the following titles (in what could be your new steal-of-a-deal movie collection!!!).

Pardon my commentary…


Dumb and Dumber (yep, he was both)

Grease 2 (really? REALLY????)

Unforgiven (self explanatory)

Independence Day (… was the best day of my life!)

Some Like it Hot (I can promise you, he does not, like it “hot”, that is…)

Fast and Furious (yep, that’s more like it)

Contact (… has been cut off)

Chocolat (oh wait, I think I’ll keep this one…)

That Thing You Do (or DON’T do, which was usually the case.)

Clueless (abso-freakin’-lutely)

Big (or not. Ahem)

One Flew Over the Cukcoo’s Nest (unfortunately he stopped here on his way)

The Great Escape (my new motto since the break-up)

Rocky (that’s one way to put it…)

Liar, Liar (Yup)

The Jerk (this one’s too easy)

The Big Chill (also known as the last month of our relationship)


Call 555-1234  if you want them.  Because I?  Don't. 

"L" is For... (You Capture)

I'm still joining You Capture this week even though I'm a day late and a few pictures short.  But on well, better late than never, as they say, right?

He was trying to make her LAUGH.

It worked. :-D

This was my LUNCH the other day. I know, it looks more like breakfast but no, it was not. I promise I ate it at 12:30 p.m.  Spinach, mushroom, muenster and ham omelet.

taken w/ my iPhone, edited with Instagram

And this photo has lots of LINES in the background but I mostly posted it because I just LOVE her outfit. A friend gave me the dress/tunic and it's reversible (other side of fabric here) and I kinda wish she could wear it forever.

taken w/ iPhone

"L" words were a little harder than I thought... 

Banged Up - WW

Baby K does have a small bruise to the right of her chin where she took a little tumble over the weekend...

However, what I'm really referring to is her hair.... notice anything different?

Yeah, Tim and I decided on Sunday night to trim her bangs so that hair would no longer be in her eyes all the time. I can't decide if I like it or not.  Mostly because this means she's even more toddler-ish than before and I'm still a little bit in denial.

But...

It sure is nice to be able to see those "baby blues" even better now... (I knew I married a man with awesome blue eyes for a reason...;-P)

Church or the Hospital?

We have about a 7 or 8 minute drive to church every Sunday and it's usually filled with noise from the back of the car from the three small people in our life.  Meanwhile, the typical conversation between Tim and I may be about what to have for lunch that day or if we remembered a pacifier for K to take into the nursery...

The other morning as we turned onto the long street that leads to our church The B Man interjected...

"So Mom, while I was going to the bathroom earlier I thought of telling you that my leg hurt really bad and that I couldn't go to church because of it. I thought I would put water on my face from the sink so that you would think I was crying from the pain. And then you'd come in the bathroom and check on me and look at my leg and I'd tell you that it was probably broken and then you'd have take me to the hospital."

He paused for a moment.

"But then I sat there and thought, 'where would I rather go, church or the hospital?' And I figured church was better."

I was driving and I looked at Tim quickly and he looked at me and all we could do was bust out laughing!! 

And then Tim said, "Yeah buddy, pretty sure I'd choose church over the hospital any day!"

And then we ALL had a good laugh together as were were getting out of the car for CHURCH.

And plus? Now I'm totally on to him and his fake-tears-from-the-sink ways. (not that he's ever actually done that, but if he ever does, I'm totally on to him.. .)

Steppin' Out Saturday and NSV!

I'm joining in on Steppin' Out Saturday (even though I'm posting on Sunday!) over at Harper's Happenings this weekend.  The whole family headed out to the mall on Saturday afternoon (AFTER I ran a 5K - in 29:55!!! and took the boys to B's soccer game!) and then to an early dinner. It was especially spring-like out and just a gorgeous day.

On Me: 

Top: Banana Republic 

Black "jeggings": Forever 21

Shoes: Target

Belt: Goodwill ($1.99!)

Necklace: James Avery (my Mother's Day present 2 yrs. ago, I wear it a lot)

On Baby K: 

Top/Capris - Tea Collection (hand-me-down from neighbor's granddaughter - score!)

Shoes: local boutique, See Kai Run brand (on sale!)

Hair flower: Etsy shop: The Pickled Pumpkin

Here's a little better picture of her outfit - I just love the ruffles at the top of the arm - so girlie and cute! :)

And yes, K currently loves anything with a straw...

Also, thank you to everyone for all the wonderfully nice and supportive comments on twitter about my size 8's!!  

By the way, this pic of was taken in the GAP dressing room at the mall and I bought those babies about 5 minutes later.  I figure me and my smaller waist deserved them!  Here's to more NSV (non-scale victories) in the future!! 

xoxo

Also linking up to Mommy & Me at Krystyn's place since there's actually a pic of me and my girl together in this post! :) 

I didn't want to do it...

I cried.

I bit my nails until I could feel the throbbing in each and every finger.

I thought of how my son wouldn't go to the school that I couldn't wait to walk with him to.

I thought of how I'd miss the quick drive to our church and all the wonderful people there.

I thought of the house we were leaving, the only one my babies knew.

I thought of how we were leaving family and so very many friends. Best friends.

I didn't want to do it.

I didn't want to go.

I watched as they dug deep wholes beneath my house so that we could sell it to someone else.

I looked out at the new brick mailbox I just had built.

I wondered who would cook in my newly re-done kitchen.

I took in the smell of baby that lingered in the room where both of my baby boys had slept and now my baby girl would not.

I cried some more.

But we did it.

We left.

We came here and it was hard.

At first, so VERY hard.

But we've made friends and eaten new food in a new kitchen and found a new church.

We've found new routes and places to visit and restaurants to love.

The people here are so good.

It's actually nice to live in s smaller town.

Our old place actually seems overwhelming when we visit.

Here they make fabulous gumbo and po boys

The Cajun people are so nice and say things like "save the dishes" (meaning to put them away) and "come see" (meaning come here) and they eat "plate lunches" and "boudin" (I'm not a fan but that's okay...).

And they say "Sha Baby" to my babies. (translates to darling, dear or sweetheart [per google])

They even print it on clothes...

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As I went though K's closet the other day (the only closet she's ever known) I came across an outfit that a friend gave to her for her birthday. It's a pink "onesie" and printed on the front is "Sha Baby".

There will always be a little Cajun in us now.

I didn't want to do it.

But I'm so glad we did.

I still miss "home" at times but our life here is good and I would do it over again.

That says a lot.

Can't wait for Baby K to wear her "Sha Baby", darling, dear, sweetheart outfit.

Soon.

The prompt for this: Write a piece - 600 word limit - about finding a forgotten item of clothing in the back of a drawer or closet. Let us know how the item was found, what it is, and why it's so meaningful to you or your character.

Warmth - You Capture

Me and the little girl found ourselves outside for a bit this afternoon. Although it was pretty cloudy it was lovely outside and perfect for exploring. And the sun peaked out a few times, gracing us with its WARMTH.

 

We HAVE a Winner!

I'm sorry to say that I could not give everyone who entered a fabulous canvas from Canvas Press but I'm quite excited for the winner! :)

Number 18 means it's Krystyn from Really Are you Serious and Krizzy Designs.  You know, my friend who designed the new blog here!  How fun is that?

Congrats Krystyn!!  I will send over the info on how to order your photo canvas ASAP!  And you MUST let me know which photo you end up using for you canvas, k?

And for everyone else, don't forget that they are offering ALL of you 10% off through the end of July with the code "misselaine10off".  Please use the discount for one of their wonderful products and thanks to everyone who entered!

PSA - DON'T Buy These Jammies - WW

So.

I do adore this one store. You know the one that starts with "T", ends with "ET" and has a "ARG" in the middle? Yeah, that one.

BUT. It hath failed me.

Tim recently picked out some jammies for the boys there and faster than I could say "Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious" there was a hole in one of the legs of the Batman set that The B Man wore, maybe twice.

Then yesterday I noticed this:

Now I know it's hard to look away from the chunky monkey legs but do your best and check out the bottom left leg of Little G (his left, not yours).  See the tattered mess there? 

Here's a better look.

I can only hope that if any of these are still left at the Tar-jay that they reside on the deep clearance rack by now.  We were swindled.  DON'T let it happen to you.  These jammies are an abomination to little boys everywhere who want to pretend to be Batman or Spiderman EVERY SINGLE NIGHT OF THEIR LITTLE LIVES.

You're welcome.

At the Farm

I've decided to do something new this week and join with other writers at The Red Dress Club and throw my hat in the ring, or my words on the page.  However you want to look at it...

Today's prompt says this:

"imagine that after you have died and your daughter/son will be given the gift of seeing a single five-minute period of your life through your eyes, feeling and experiencing those moments as you did when they occurred. What five minutes would you have him/her see? Tell us about them in the finest detail"

Now, this certainly is not the most monumental 5 minutes in my life but this place has many memories for me and this it is what came to mind first so I wrote it...





I open the creaky and dusty screen door and step out onto the old wooden porch. I let my pinky finger slide off the wooden frame and the door makes its usual startling CRACK! sound against the house.

The smell of dried maize and the cabbage growing in the garden fills the air and my nostrils, as I take the two rickety steps that lead to the ground. The hard, dusty ground.

It hasn’t rained in weeks and the earth is screaming through its cracks for water.

One of the farm hounds rounds the corner, his spotty tongue flapping side to side out of his mouth and dripping like an old faucet with saliva. I know he wants to follow me into the field. He heard the door and knew someone was up for an adventure. He can probably smell the sweat dripping from my back too.

I can still hear the deep voices of my father, grandfather and uncles from the parlor as I make my way through the rusty gate. My grandmother just left the room after filling their glasses of iced tea to the brim and I slipped off of Dad’s knee, knowing nothing of the politics they were discussing.

Once “Spot” and I are on the other side of the gate the feeling of freedom washes over me like a much welcomed warm shower stream. I can hear his panting behind me as I make my way through the tall row of sun-burned maize in my stained and worn Keds.  All the sudden he stops short to bury his wet nose in the dirt. I leave him behind.

I walk as fast as my chunky ten year old body will go, anxious to come out on the other side of the crops. As I emerge, the light blue sky, with nary a cloud in sight, surrounds me in every direction and the warm sun graces my face, warming me instantly. I am blinded by its wonderfulness.

Earlier that spring, my cousins and I came here together to pick bluebonnets and Indian paintbrush and other assorted wildflowers and when we returned to the house we put them in a Mason jar and made them the centerpiece for supper time. And then while we sat at the table and ate, I saw my Grandfather through those same flowers, slopping up his gravy with a warm, homemade roll.  Eating like he hadn’t eaten in a week.

But today I was here, in this field alone and I was fine with that. The only flowers on this scorching day are a few of those little yellow ones that look like mini sunflowers. I pick one and gently tuck it behind my ear as I lie down in the grass and close my eyes.

I think of Heaven and what it would be like to go there. I think of a day when maybe I wouldn’t have to wear glasses anymore, as I wipe the sweat from the bridge of my nose. I think of how hard my grandparents worked to have this farm and home. I think of how I always wish we were closer. Even just a hug would be nice.

And then I feel “Spot’s” wet tongue on my nose and I roll over giggling to myself, just inches from the hot bed of fire ants.

I stand up quickly, hoping I did not make them angry, grimacing at the thought. I dust off the south Texas dirt and weave back through the hot, dark rows to the old house with thoughts of that cool, lemony ice tea. I hope the men haven’t drunk it all and I hope that today might be the day for that hug, just as I do on every visit.

 the back gate at my grandparents' former farm. The very one I walked through that day...

p.s. this is my 1,000th post.  how crazy is that?!?! 

LOVE grows and so do babies...

Last year, she wore this outfit as a dress while eating her first cereal on Valentine's Day. My heart burst with love for her...

This year it's more of a tunic and she is ready for "CHOC-ET" instead... :)  And my heart may just explode any minute now...

(what? she is her mother's daughter...re: chocolate)
(oh and did you see the little pony-tail in the back??) SQUEE!! :D

Happy Valentine's Day all!

We are celebrating with chocolates, homemade Linzer cookies and dinner as a family of five. xoxo

What? A Croc? (Crocs™ Review)

I'm just gonna start off by admitting that I'm not a fan of the original Crocs™. I think they are SUPER DUPER comfortable but the look of them has never done anything for me.

So... when I heard from someone with the Crocs™ company a few weeks ago, asking if I would like to try out a pair and let you all know what I think I was like, "eh, sure..." and I clicked on over to their website.

I was delighted to find several different styles of shoe that were stylish and cute and frankly it was pretty hard to choose just one pair to review.  Because there are SO many "non regular Crocs™" Crocs™!!  But I managed to narrow it down because, hey, FREE SHOES! ;)

Feast your eyes on the Marnie, in black (it also comes in Mushroom and Plum).

I gotta tell you, I love these shoes.  They are perfect for my arch, SO comfortable and look great with jeans and I'm guessing shorts too (a theory I will surely try out in the Spring!).  Also, I can wear them with or without socks.

My foot does tend to slip around in the shoe a little while walking (without socks).  They are made from the signature Croslite material that "gives each pair of shoes the soft, comfortable, lightweight, non-marking and odor-resistant qualities that Crocs™ wearers know and love."  Also, this shoe does tend to run large, as per many of the customer reviews on their site.  I normally wear a 7.5 size shoe and got these in a 7 and they fit great.  But if you wear a size 8 and order a size 7 it could possibly be too small (and they do not come in half sizes).

But for me? They fit really well and I can wear them all day to run errands and pick up kids from school or just for a trip down the driveway to pick up the mail.  As a matter of fact, when I did just that the other day and my neighbor saw me she said, "those shoes looks really comfortable, where did you get them?"  I told her they were Crocs™ and she was floored and exclaimed, "I had no idea they made shoes that cute!" And that's when I told her how comfortable they were too.

Yep. Cute. Comfotrable. Crocs™.  I'm now a believer.



I was sent one pair of Crocs™ for review on my blog. No other compensation was given for this post and all opinions are my own.

16 Months and 10 Days

 She wanders into the pantry and points her little baby girl finger up to the shelves. She makes eye contact with me and says "NACK?!" Kinda like her brother used to around this age.

I know what she wants so I reach into the box to get one for her whereupon a big smile spreads across her little girl lips and her eyes brighten. The girl likes food, what can I say.

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While my MIL was here helping out when I was in Nashville, apparently she did not know that K could ride the little four-wheeler the boys used to use and told K that it wasn't for her. But then after my MIL turned her back she heard it going, and saw that yes in fact, she definitely did know how to ride it, because off she went!

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The other morning I denied her something (I don't ever remember what it was!) and she threw her little 21 pound body on the rug in our living room and began to flail and kick her legs while wailing like an injured cat. This lasted for a while. I let her get it out. But I'm still scared of the GIRL tantrum. I think she can smell my fear....

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Current vocabulary words include, "nigh nigh", "kitty", "Beh" (for Ben), the aforementioned "nack", "baby", "Mommy", "Daddy", "bye bye", "dolly", "ticky" (for chicky, a favorite stuffed animal) and I promise y'all she says "beh you" (bless you) after I sneeze. Thankfully she has not learned "no" yet. YET.

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She's still ALL about the paci and will even talk past it. I'm trying to limit how much she uses it but it's such a crutch for both of us.  Right as the pacifier goes in her mouth she immediately puts her left hand in the back of her hair and begins twirling it.  I'll admit, the hair twirling is pretty darn cute.

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She's all up in her brothers' grills if you know what I mean. They already "lock" her out of their room so she cannot get to their toys, etc. Thankfully it doesn't phase her too much. YET.

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She has a major attachment to her half blanket/half stuffed animal lamb that we call "L.C." (short for Lamb Chop) and loves to carry around several other stuffed animals and soft dolls.  She also likes to taunt her brother, Little G and snag one of his favorite stuffed kitties and then run off with it, giggling all the way. Yeah, she knows EXACTLY what she's doing and gets his goat every time.

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Right now she walks on her tippy-toes a lot.  I suppose this is kharma coming back to bite me since I used to make fun of my little cousin that did that when were growing up.  I don't think it's really an issue though and I'm sure she'll grow out of it eventually... (right?)

Today she was fussy and extra clingy but I think that's because she has a bit of a cold and was coughing a lot last night. 

"Tomorrow" she will be asking to go out on a date so I'm gonna enjoy EVERY day I have with her while she's still my little girl. Well, she'll always be my "little" girl, but you know what I mean....

Already over 16 months old.

Already.