The other night I was sitting on the bathroom floor about to wash two filthy little children when The B man walked in and popped a squat on the bathroom stool.
He looked me square in the eyes and said, “Mom, can I talk to you about something?”
“Sure!” I said.
I assumed he was going to tell me about the new Lego project he envisioned that day or rattle off the latest fact about dinosaurs or outer space that he’d committed to memory.
I was wrong.
“Mom, today at recess we ran races and I was the ref and Mike* and Joseph* were racing and Mike won more races than Joseph and so Joseph told me he didn’t want to be my best friend anymore. Then at second recess he told me he found a new best friend! I don’t know what to do, Mom! What do I do?!?”
I sat there listening to my sweet boy pour his heart out to me and glanced over only to see it – right there on his sleeve.
And then I thought, “This, already??”
My B is a sensitive soul and so it really hurts me to hear anything like this coming from him. I know that when/if this happens to Little G someday he’ll be like, “Whatever dude” (or possibly the kid saying he doesn’t want to be friends anymore!) and move right on, but that is NOT how B is at all.
And I also know that kids will be kids so this will NOT be the last time he experiences something like this.
It is ONLY the beginning.
We talked it out and I told B that he just needs to tell Joseph that no matter how many races he did or did not win, he still would like to be his friend and that all he can do is let him know that. I also told him that it’s ultimately up to Joseph and that if he decides he does not want to be friends over something small like that, then it’s his loss, not B’s.
I think I handled it okay on the fly, but then I wasn’t really sure because this is my first experience with anything like this since becoming a parent. He seemed pretty satisfied with my solution and said he had already told Joseph that he wanted to be his friend no matter what. We ended the conversation by deciding we would just see how Joseph was the next day at recess.
The next afternoon, after school I asked him how things went with Joseph at recess that day and he said, “Oh fine, we’re best friends again!”
Glad I didn't lose too much sleep over that one.
Although I'm sure as the kids continue to grow little problems like this will crop up more and more. And I'm guessing they may start even earlier with K since she's a girl and we all know how they can be...
*names have been changed to protect the innocent and fickle school mates.
And no, this picture has nothing to do with this post but I don't care...