I thanked my husband last night for working so hard and making it so that I can now be home with my boys.
See, it wasn't always this way. I worked when The B Man was a baby, and at that time, I stood up for what I did. And I CONSTANTLY (every day when I picked him up) thanked and prayed for the ladies watching over my son. I certainly couldn't do what they do all day... but that's a whole other post. At that time in our lives, I still HAD to work so that we could buy our first home and a much needed new vehicle, etc. It was hard at times. Just as staying home is. But it was different. There was a lot of guilt and there were times that due to traffic or other circumstances I couldn't get to him right at the time I thought I should and on those days I would almost lose it completely.
I would think, "Oh, he HAS to eat by 6 or he has to get picked up before the other kids!" My mind would picture my little boy sitting on the floor all alone with tears in his eyes, distraught that his Mommy was not there yet. (Mind you, this never happened in a little over 3 years, but on occasion I can be a little dramatic). When I would get there he would run into my arms and hug me (most days) and it was like a whole new beginning but it always nagged at me that I missed out on all the things he did that day.
But as Tim's career has continued to evolve, we are now in a place where I can be here - watching, laughing, crying and playing with my boys. This place has it's challenges too (can anyone say "potty training?"), don't get me wrong, but it's SO much better and I have loved every minute of watching Little G grow and thrive from the very beginning of his life.
I still have a little guilt that I wasn't with The B Man every day when he was a baby but the past is the past and I feel like I must be making up for some of that now, right? I wouldn't give up this new job (although I could use some paid holidays ; )) for anything.
I may go back to working outside the home again someday but it certainly will not be until my boys are older and in school. Right now I am having the time of my life and the memories we are making together will last all of my life, God willing.
So here's to working moms, stay at home moms, part-time working moms, whatever. Your situation is uniquely yours. I just feel so blessed that my path has led me here. Even if it is a little messy, loud and silly.
P.S. If you haven't seen the video in yesterday's post scroll down for some fun!