Terrifying

I had a terrifying dream the other night.

It was one of those where you find yourself halfway between the dream and real life and knowing it's just a dream, but still, you are sort of stuck there.

I woke up crying in my bed, the morning light barely starting to show through the blinds.

I dreamed that one of my children drowned.

I never saw his face but in the dream I knew which one it was.

While in the dream I was with my three children and we were at a lake with some "unidentified" friends (couldn't tell who in the dream). Tim and the husband friend had gone off in a boat and I was left to oversee the three children.

I got to talking to the wife friend and before I knew it we'd been talking a while and I didn't know where my kids even were.

I ran over to the edge of a pier and all I could see was one tennis shoe floating barely above the surface. At first it looked like an adult shoe but as the leg was lifted more from out of the water (by what I do not know) I could see it was my child's leg and I knew it had been too long for him to survive. I just stood there. Frozen.

And then I woke up.

It was really hard for me to just type that all out.

I'm crying again now.

One of my biggest fears in this life is that I would see one of my children die. I know it happens to others but I'm not sure if I could survive it...

I laid there crying while Tim continued to lightly snore next to me and I prayed to God for Him to protect and keep my children, in His hands, no matter what.

And then my mind was reeling with the details about where my other two children were. I never saw them again in the dream. But I felt like they were okay, somewhere. But I wasn't sure.

I continued to question myself. Why didn't I make sure they were all okay? WHAT?!?!?! What, was wrong with me?

I'd failed them all.

It was horrible. Just horrible.

That morning, during real life, I hugged him tighter and held him close.

I couldn't bear to EVER lose him.

That's not the way it's supposed to be.

They are all here. I am blessed and thankful.

NO more dreams like that please.

No more...

You Capture - Mornings

Mornings start pretty early around here.
Yesterday's started at 5:58 a.m.

Like I said, early.

I do not wake up by alarm clock..

I usually wake up by hearing "WAAAAAAH!!" or "I gotta go potty!" or "can you turn the t.v. on?". You can probably guess which child goes with which statement.

So... in order to begin my day 'right' I need two things:
Food and coffee (in this case it's iced)(the coffee, not the food).

I take a few minutes to assemble the first-grader's lunch. While still in my night gown (ignore dirty kitchen floor. nothing to see here. move along.)

Later in the morning (you know, like around 8:30!) we go play in Kay Kay's room and she makes me another 'breakfast'. (wink, wink)

After I 'eat' (again) she moseys on over to the play cube.

And then Little G comes to play too.

And I'm thankful for the morning sun that comes in through the window...

... and another beautiful day with my little loves.

p.s. kinda wish there was a photo of The B Man getting off to school but he was NOT in the mood that morning. Perhaps it was the PRE 6 a.m. wake up time...

WW - So THIS is What 11 Months is Like. Yeah, I Remember Now.

Gah. Even my title is wordFUL.

As you may have guessed from said title, Baby K is 11 months old today.

I have NO comment on the fact that this means she will be a year old in 30 days.

Well, I may have one...

*sniff, sniff*

Moving on...

Somehow, it's easy to forget how quickly they become toddlers (this MUST be why so many of us have more) and although she is not walking yet, she loves to walk around the furniture while holding on and has stood for a few seconds without holding on to anything. And even though she's not walking, crawling serves her perfectly well and since she can crawl and stand, well, these are the kind of pictures I have of her these days. You know, getting into stuff and being fairly mischievous.

But of course, also being completely adorable while doing so...

she loves to sit insdie this box of toys. she gets up in there all on her own.

she fits inside the cabinet where I have all the plastic ware. and she loves to take it all out and put herself in. tee hee.

why we have not permanently moved the books from this shelf I do not know. they end up on the floor AT LEAST twice eight times a day.

Past Post Parade - August

I started this idea because I like to peek into your archives and I personally think it's great fun to go back and read other bloggers previous posts.

So here's how it goes: Link up to a post from August of last year or August of any previous year, depending on how long you've been blogging.

If you haven't been blogging for a year yet then just go back as far as you want and link up to something older. It's so easy to link up because your post is already written!

Sometimes it's hard for me to pick one because I get caught up reading MY old stuff, just to see what was going on in my life at that time. And then I forget why I was even searching through... Anyway, I promise you'll have fun going through your older posts too!

So, link away my bloggy friends and enjoy this month's Past Post Parade! And don't forget to visit each other's posts too so that you can see what everyone else was up to last year or the year before that or the year before that...

And here, we go, I'll start! My post from last year at this time. Let's just say, well.... I was VERY pregnant!....

And I think it's going to rain today...

....but you really never know until the clouds are right over us and I start to hear the "tat tat tat" on the roof of the screened-in porch.

We have no plans today, except maybe a quick trip to the grocery store. Between rain clouds, hopefully.

I like "no plans" because then I don't have to worry about when Baby K "has" to get up and go somewhere. I really dislike waking a napping baby. But sometimes I have to.

I also don't like "no plans" because I feel like we need to be doing something. But really, we don't...

So, here I sit, savoring my coffee, while sitting on the sofa in my p.j.s and watching Little G play with his favorite toys while Baby K sleeps in.

I'm already looking forward to the holiday weekend. But I'm also pensive about the fact that this is the 5 year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, which GREATLY affected many of our friends here just a few short years ago.

Some lost property, some lost relatives. Some lost both.

I can FEEL how this time of the year is hard for them, every year.

Part of the reason I look forward to the weekend is that we are contemplating a trip to New Orleans. I've never been and I also feel the need to support and celebrate it. And honestly, I'm also just itchin' to get out of town.

So yes, it may rain a little today and as it does, I will think of and pray for those who are still hurting and wish peace for my friends...


P.S. I'm going to do Past Post Parade again tomorrow and I would LOVE it if you would link up with a post of yours from last year at this time (or even 2 or 3 years ago!). And if you haven't been blogging that long it can be ANY past post that you like. So go on and peruse your archives and then come back here tomorrow and join the fun! Now, I gotta go find an 'old' post myself...